Growing growing growing

Now that Liam has updated his blog I can talk about Fingers, our new kitten.

But I'm not. I'm going to talk about the news my brother dropped on us last night at the end of Christmas Eve gift-opening night at the MacPherson house. He and Mina are pregnant!!

They're due at the beginning of August, so she's about 8 weeks along right now. I'm gonna be an Auntie!! (I realize I'm already Auntie to Preston, but Auntie by marriage is different that Auntie by blood.)

I'm so excited! Now we just have to convince them to move back to Alberta so I can see this kid more than once every few years.

Congrats Trevor and Mina, and Merry Christmas to everyone!

Prayer request

If you're the praying type, please keep Tanya in your thoughts.

We grew up in the same subdivision and she's only a few years older than me. She was just married this fall and baby was due in a few months. It was recently discovered that she has uterine cancer, the tumor being as big as baby. A c-section and total hysterectomy was done, so now they're dealing with her illness and a premature baby during their first months of marriage.

I'm praying things will turn out well for them. I can't even begin to imagine.

Come on already Liam!!

I've got a secret that's Liam's to tell but he hasn't updated his blog yet!!

I'll give a hint though...our family is growing.

Mmmmm

So just before lunch I decided to treat myself to a glass of egg nog. I'd actually bought it for Liam, but it's been two days and he hasn't even opened it yet!

Anyhow, I poured myself a glass then poured my coffee. Inspiration hit and I decided to combine the two. (Yes, I realize that most of you have probably tried this before but I'm new to this) Oh. My. Goodness.

In other news, Liam is at a management training seminar today. I feel so alone because I can't phone him! Normally I call him up a few times about random things, so this seems so strange.

At least tomorrow is his first day of vacation and I'll have him around the house. Until Tim steals him away tomorrow night anyhow...

Baptism photos

I've been having some issues with these pictures so I'm trying uploading them from photobucket. Here goes nothing...

Ninjas are cool

Nicholas has turned into one of those kids.

Lately, he's enjoyed dressing in black pants and black shirts, even black socks and underwear if they're available. He then calls himself a ninja. The outfit is really complete when he gets to wear his "toe socks", a pair of stretchy baby socks that are too big for Lilly but just big enough to go over Nick's toes.

Today he wants to be a ninja at school, so he's wearing a pair of black jeans and a black zip-up shirt. I figured that since they're normally school clothes he won't look too odd, even though I normally don't send him in head-to-toe black.

I had a talk with him about how even though he's a ninja he still has to behave properly. I found the phrase "Even ninjas listen to Madame's rules" popping out of my mouth. I'm starting to wonder about this family...

(Oh, and baptism pictures and updates will follow when I've got more than five minutes to myself. It should be about a week from tomorrow with the way things are going around here.)

Some holiday cheer.

This is just way too fun.

Scary scary Santa

Glub Glub!

I'm drinking a rye and Coke. Well, it's actually Pepsi, but who cares?

It's been a year tonight since I've had a drink. It'll be a year tomorrow since Lillian was conceived. Coincidence? Hmm...

Make it stop!

So Lillian, that dear and oh-so-cute baby of mine, woke up last night just before I was going to bed. Then, once I brought her up to bed she had a dirty diaper. After I changed her and finally got her to sleep it was about 12:30.

At 2:30, Nicholas appeared in our bed because he was scared of the ghosts in his room. Somehow my half-asleep brain thought that it would be a good idea for him to stay with us. Half an hour and fifteen elbow jabs later, I brought him back to his bed.

At 5:30, Lillian woke up again to eat and had yet another dirty diaper. Downstairs I went again.

I need some sleep. Not just one night of good sleep either, but actual good sleep on a consistent basis. I think my brain is starting to cave in.

Coffee time for me.

And now...it's Thursday

There's really no point to this entry other than to keep Krista quiet. It's now past Monday, so here's a new entry for you.

I also added some links. If there's anyone who's unfamiliar with PostSecret it's a must. Very interesting and very creepy at times. There's an explanation somewhere on the page.

Umm...what else...my kid is chewing away at her fingers. It's almost like it's been more than five minutes since she's eaten.

Other news, other news. Um. I built a gingerbread house with my parents and Nicholas tonight. It was funny and stressful all at the same time. Lillian got icing on her nose and threw a gumball across the table. Rowdy child.

Monday Monday

Anyone who knows me well knows I don't do mornings. At least not very well anyhow. I've technically been awake since 5:30 this morning even though I stayed in bed with my eyes squeezed shut til 8. Ugh. My kids are doing the tag-team routine to keep me awake in the early morning hours.

Nicholas for some reason felt the need to prove twice over this morning that he's Liam's kid. Maybe it's the name change, who knows. He woke up at 6 and layed on the floor outside the bathroom door while Liam took a bath. Weirdo. (For anyone not familiar with Liam lore, this is what he used to do when he was a kid) Then later on (once his lazy mother dragged her butt out of bed) he leaped off the couch yelling "Da-da-da-DA-da-da! I love this song!" when a Michael Buble song came on the radio. Uh...ok. It's a good song, but mellow out a bit kid.

In other news, my house is a disaster. Does someone want to come clean it for me?

I think I may make coffee this morning instead of this afternoon. If only I had some Bailey's to add to it...

Yay for new music

In case you live in the Edmonton area and haven't come across it yet, check out Magic 99 (99.3 FM). They do the jazz/blues/pop thing.

Some of it sounds a little too close to elevator music for my taste, but they play Louis, Ella, Ray Charles, Sarah McLachlan, and Micheal Buble. There are others, of course, but these are the most important ones in my eyes...or ears I guess.

All in all, it makes me happy and isn't that what really counts?

I have no words.

There's no turning back now.

I received a letter this morning from Alberta Registries. Nicholas' name change (which we finally got around to submitting last month) has officially come through.

His full name is now Nicholas Robert MacPherson Johnstone. We bumped MacPherson into a middle name since it's been a part of his name for so long, and also because I still yell it when he's in trouble.

The poor kid. He's one of us now. I don't know if we should throw him a party or offer him my condolences.

The wheels on the bus go round and round

I'm seriously annoyed with our school's bus system.

Nicholas takes the mini bus to school at noon and it picks him up on the street right in front of our complex. It works out beautifully.

On Friday, I inquired into the bus route he'd take if he were to return home by bus as well. I've been walking to the school each afternoon, but it's now way too cold to take Lillian out for that long. After filling in a form which was faxed in to the transportation people, I got a call this morning telling me that his bus stop is two blocks south of our house. The school is two blocks east of our house, so how exactly will this do me any good?

But wait! They'll add a mysterious new stop for him after Christmas break. The only problem is that they can't even tell me where it will be. Hhmm...

Warming up and scraping off the car with Lillian in tow is a pain in the rear, but it may just be easier than dealing with this.

The many cries of Baby Lily

1. Feed me now. I'm starving.
2. Feed me now. I'm not really hungry, but I could be at any given moment.
3. Give me back that boob. I wasn't done yet.
4. My diaper is nasty. Get it off now!
5. I woke up alone. Somebody tell me they still love me!
6. I'm almost awake. Feed me before I wake up and get really angry.
7. I'm bored. Somebody make some faces for me or jiggle me or something.
8. Not that face.
9. Jiggle faster/slower/bouncier/more softly.
10. I'm grumpy. You shall suffer along with me.
11. Treat me like the princess we all know I am.
12. Get that kid off of me.
13. I can't handle all the pressure of being a good baby. Bah!!
14. I'm tired and can't be bothered to fall asleep.

Sick day

I want a sick day. Who do I call?

I need a substitute Mommy, someone who can feed and dress the kids as well as change some diapers and pick up toys. If she could lactate as well that would be a huge bonus.

I want to spend the day in bed with a thick blanket, a good book, and a hot toddy.

Seriously, people, I need a phone number.

Gahk.

Screw you Bogger.

All I asked was that you spell-check my entry, not delete it.

What a waste of a perfectly satisfying rant. Shit.

I'll re-do it when I'm not so bitter.

Infant mathematics

Proven:

Baby Lily + 3 immunizations = cranky baby + fever

Theory:

Cranky + fever + Tylenol = sleep

Somebody stop me

This afternoon I was folding a load of Lillian's laundry and I was saddened to see that I'm going to have to put away a sleeper that she's grown out of already. It was Nicholas' when he was just itty-bitty, and I was sad to put it away that time too.

I was seriously tempted to phone Liam at work to tell him that we need to have another baby just so I can put someone else into that sleeper.

Someone either talk some sense into me or start trying to convince Liam we need three kids.

Laziness

I am a lazy bum.

Liam phoned home this morning at 10:45 and I was still in bed. Asleep.

My sleeping baby rocks.

Random notes

• Liam and I recently purchased a Nora Jones cd. I like it muchly. It seems to make our house mellow. I think I listened to it 5 times back to back on Friday.

• There was a drunk guy pissing on the steps to our complex this evening when my Mom brought Nicholas home. I wonder if he got any in the Leddy yard...

• I need to lable bottles in my house. I used some oil on Lillian's head because her scalp has been dry and flakey the past few days. I thought I was putting almond oil on her but upon closer sniffing I realize it was Benediction Oil. She didn't react to it, so I'm not the worst mother in the world...barely.

• Lillian has pretty much settled on waking at 4 am and 7 am for feedings. I usually only wake up until she's latched on then I'm snoozing again before she's even done eating, so I pretty much feel like I'm sleeping through the nights already. Yay for my good-sleeping baby!

• Liam found me some more Tanya Huff novels at Wee Book on Friday. Now I just need more hours in the day so I can actually read them.

Some people's children

I apologize in advance for my bad language. I'm pissed off and I feel the need to swear.

Some ass stole my diaper bag this afternoon when we were at the pool. Liam and Nicholas went swimming and Lillian and I walked over after a while to watch them. I entered the pool, put my diaper bag down on a bench, and watched my boys. After a bit, I decided to go sit in a chair about 20 feet away from the bench. I couldn't see my bag from where I was sitting because it was around a corner, but I didn't think much of it.

About 20 minutes later, I went back to get my bag and it was gone. Someone picked up Lillian's snowsuit, took her diaper bag, and left. Fuckers.

When I realized that it was missing I spoke to a lifeguard and then a receptionist at the front desk. I was advised to check every locker, cubby, and change room in the locker rooms since thieves apparently go there with bags first.

After checking every single locker in the women's locker room and talking to several people, I decided to check the family change room before getting Liam to go through the men's locker room. Sure enough, there was my bag on a seat in the family change room. Fuckers.

Thankfully, I'd left my wallet at home so the only thing possibly worth stealing was my cell phone. It was still there and no calls had been made.

As I headed back onto the pool deck to tell Liam that all was well, I realized just how pissed off I was that someone's dirty thieving hands had been in my bag going through Lillian's things. Stupid asses. All they got for all their trouble of snatching my bag was glimpse of some diapers and a baby undershirt. I should have left a dirty diaper or two in there.

Bum cooties

Last night, Liam and I were out doing some Christmas shopping. After making a pit stop to change Lillian's dirty diaper, I decided that I'd may as well make my own stop as well. When I went into the bathroom stall, I noticed that they had one of those sanitary toilet seat paper cover dispensers. It made me wonder a few things.

Are there ever any paper covers in those things? I've yet to see one that isn't empty.

Do people really thing that a little piece of paper is going to save them from the bum cooties on the toilet seat?

If they're really so concerned, why don't they just hover over the seat?

What types of bum cooties can you actually contract from sitting on a public toilet?

Maybe it's just me, but the whole thing seems more than a little bit silly.

Does it make me a bad Mom?

Lately, Nicholas has been beginning a lot of his statements with "Guess what!".

Every single time I have to fight not to answer "Chicken butt". Sometimes it's too hard and it bursts out anyway.

Liam does it too, so it makes it ok, right?!

More baby pictures

Here are some cutsie pictures to share. Yay for cute!!


You've gotta love Tummy Time. Well, unles you're Lillian and you've been on your tummy for longer than two minutes.

This is sideways and I don't know how to rotate it without re-doing it, so turn your head or monitor sideways. She just loves her swing, and so do I!!

If there's one thing that Lillian does love (besides my boobs, of course) it's bath time.

It's a dog's life

Today was a big day for Jack.

First, he wore his doggy jacket for the first time. It's red polar fleece lined with a blue cotton-type material. It was custom-made by our neighbor for his doggy pleasure. Unfortunately, it's a bit too big around the neck and when he was walking down the stairs his leg came through the neck hole and he tumbled down the last three steps. He ended up looking dusty and confused.

The next highlight of his day came only a half hour later when it started to snow. He chased snowflakes around the yard. Yep. He jumped and ran and snapped his teeth.

What a life Jack-o.

The good, the bad, and the poopy

Somewhere there is a god of Mommies who does nothing but make sure that the intricate balance of insanity and work being accomplished stays finely tuned.

Take my week, for example. On Monday, Lillian slept in until 9 am. By the time she was up, I'd folded a load of laundry and washed another, had breakfast, washed dishes, and taken a shower. By supper time, I'd cleared off the entertainment unit, set up my nativity scene, gone for a walk, and had coffee with Krista. It was an awesome day. I accomplished so much and I was feeling full of energy even when I went to bed.

The next day, though, started out badly right from the get-go. From 2:30-3:15 am I was up because of an evil cramp in my leg. There's nothing like sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen corn on your leg in the middle of the night to set the tone for the day. When Nicholas woke me up in the morning I had to practically peel myself out of bed. Lillian only stayed asleep until 7:45 before she was screaming but thankfully stopped once I put her in the swing.

After breakfast I decided to take a look at her diaper only to discover that the poop that was supposed to be in it was instead filling the leg of her sleeper. Off we went upstairs to was her off in the sink and rinse out the ultra-nasty sleeper. I also gave her a bath for good measure. Liam phoned not long after and when I complained about my cruddy morning he comforted me by telling me the rest of my day would be better. Just as I hung up the phone Lillian spat up all over herself and the carpet. Uh-huh.

Not too long after Lillian had another dirty diaper. This one, in an effort to be new and exciting, went up her back. Yep, baby poop up to her shoulders and yet another outfit to rinse out in the sink.

Thankfully, Nicholas headed off to school not too long after that and I managed to have a nap. When I picked him up from school I told him how I wasn't nearly so grumpy now that I'd had some sleep. His response was "Finally".

Thanks kid.

Bill of Non-Rights

I found this on a forum and felt the need to share.

(Said to have been written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, Georgia as well as Libertarian from Mississippi Lewis Napper. I have no idea.)

We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of Non Rights.

ARTICLE I -- You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any form of wealth.
More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II -- You do not have the right to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means the freedom for everyone, not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III -- You do not have the right to be free from harm.
If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.(Yeah, ya jackass.)

ARTICLE IV -- You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found(Not "among" the most charitable, but "the" most charitable. Yeah.), and will gladly help anyone in need but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V -- You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice but, from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in government run health care.

ARTICLE VI -- You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. (Yum.)

ARTICLE VII -- You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII -- You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience.
We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight, if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX -- You don't have the right to a job.
All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X -- You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

A cat named Mouse

Back in the late winter/early spring of 1991, a stray cat appeared in our yard one day. I begged my parents to let me keep her and eventually they gave in. I named her Spike after the dinosaur in The Land Before Time and I was as happy as an 11-year-old girl with a new cat could be.

Within a few short months, we noticed that we were going to have some new additions to the feline portion of our household. I was fascinated watching Spike's belly swell up to an unimaginable size and I laughed at how her belly swayed when she walked. One afternoon I noticed that she was acting strangely and not too long after six little kittens made their way into the world in our garage.

The kitten I picked out to keep was a fuzzy little grey one with white paws and a patch of white going from his chin down to his chest. One of the reasons my Mom liked him so much was because he was so quiet and calm. In later years, this came to mean that he turned into a total couch potato in the winter months. Watching his weight go up and down with the changing seasons was always entertaining.

Over the years, Mouse settled into his role in the MacPherson household. He laid claim to at least a dozen regular sleeping places throughout the house and made good use of them all. He especially enjoyed the warmth of any person whether adult, child or even baby.

Nicholas and Mouse had a special relationship right from day one. The first day I brought Nicholas home, Mouse went right up to him, sniffed him, and promptly decided that he wasn't a good food source. Within a couple of years, though, Nicholas not only knew how to feed "Kitty", but he also knew where the good stuff was; the catnip drawer.

This morning my Mom came over to give me a hand with some things around the house and mentioned that Mouse had gone outside last night and was still out when she went to bed. There was no sign of him when they checked for him at 2 am and again at 6 am. We were both hoping that he would show up some time today.

Unfortunately, my Mom called me when she got home this afternoon. My Dad found Mouse's body behind the garage this afternoon. They're not sure if he froze from staying out or if he died of something else. One way or another, he was happy and healthy when I saw him yesterday so at least he had a good life right until the end of his 14 years.

On the walk home this afternoon, I told Nicholas the sad news. I told him that Grandpa would bury Mouse in the woods beside the dog's grave. I hugged him and we both cried for a bit before walking some more. Every few minutes Nicholas would remember something else about Kitty and we would both stop and cry for a little bit again.

After a while, Nicholas began giggling through his tears and said he had something funny to say. When I asked him what it was, he said "It's funny that Kitty and the dog are buried beside each other. Now they'll chase each other around in the ground."

Run Kitty run.

Life beyond diapers

That haze that enveloped me in the last weeks of pregnancy and only became worse once Lillian came along and wrecked my sleeping schedule is slowly lifting. I've been feeling back to myself (well, mostly anyway) and I've been itching to do things which are more intellectually stimulating than changing diapers and doing the "Please stop crying" dance around the living room.

I've started writing a newsletter about alternative therapies and horses, which will hopefully be a stepping stone to me turning my focus back to my equine clients (for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about see http://www.passages.7h.com). I'm working out the formatting for a quarterly newsletter which will include info on the work I do with horses, spotlights on Flower Essences, and activities for riders to try out at home (or rather at the barn I suppose). I'm still trying to decide if I'm writing it more for gaining new clients or more for my own satisfaction. Does it matter?

The other "project" I'm undertaking is writing a story for the La Leche League magazine New Beginnings. I'd describe what I have in mind, but it seems that what I write takes on a life of its own and rarely ends up bearing any resemblance to what I'd intended at the start. If I ever complete it I'll be sure to post a copy here. And if it manages to get printed I'll brag about it big time.

Something else I'm looking forward to is doing the La Leche League leader training. For those not in the know, LLL is an international organization that offers information and support to breastfeeding mothers. They rock.

Anyhow, I was approached by a current leader I know and she invited me to become a leader. I'm not sure on the details of the training, but it involves some written materials as well as a period of mentoring with a leader. I'll find out more this week.

I have found LLL to be such a wonderful resource and I believe that what they do is very important. I'd love to be a part of it all, and I think it would be a wonderful way of bringing the focus of the human side of my practice around to women and babies as I'd been wanting to do.

On that note, I'm off. I can't sit here sniffing Lillian's head all day or Liam will get angry with me.

Bums are fun!

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and :( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass

Geek test

Go here: http://www.innergeek.us/ and take this geek test. It's a bit long but good.

I'm apparantly not very geeky (only 12.62327%). I cringed at how many I knew Liam would check off.

How geeky are you?

From the mouths of babes

This has been quite the week for kid-quotes. Here are a few:

"When I get older I can turn into a woman if I change my gallstones. I saw it on TV." - Nicholas

"You have a really really big bum." - The Littlest Leddy upon seeing my behind.

"Mom! There's a tornado...in Calgary!!" - Nicholas after seeing a news clip on the hurricane in Florida.

These are the books I know, I know. These are the books I know.

Somewhere in the frenzy of Lillian's first weeks of life and of Nicholas' first weeks of school, I have been finding the time to (slowly) read three books.

The first I'll mention is the one I'm greatly enjoying. It's entitled Woman: An Intimate Geography and is written by Natalie Angier. To be quite honest, the main reason I bought it was because when I picked it up to look at it I saw that there was an entire 19-page chapter devoted solely to breastmilk. I thought that was sort of nifty, especially seeing as I was just re-entering the world of lactation myself. I found the breastmilk chapter fascinating, and of course randomly read parts out loud to Liam wheter he really wanted to know these interesting facts or not.

I then went on to start reading the book from the beginning since that's the way they're generally meant to be enjoyed, and I have since been throuroughly impressed my Angier's work. I fully admit that I'm quite interested in the workings of the human body. In high school, biology 30 was a treat. In college, phisiology was fascinating and I didn't mind poring over my textbook for hours while caring for the then-3-month-old Nicholas. This book, however, goes well beyond simple explanations of human physiology and biology. Angier has an amusing sense of humor and an off-center way of viewing life. I've burst out loud laughing at phrases like "the great wall of Vagina" and references to overblown beliefs on penis envy. Angier's ability to examine multiple theories on the adaptations we have come to recognize as the normal functioning of the human body are refreshing and thought-provoking. I just wish I had more hours in the day to devote to reading.

I was originally going to write about the other two in this entry, but in hopes of actually posting this before the year is out I'll stop here for now.

Flyer Girl update

Today is Wednesday, otherwise known as Edmonton Examiner day. As mentioned in my previous Flyer Girl entry, we rarely receive our copy. After last week's "episode" I had given up all hope of ever receiving another Examiner in our mailbox. I had even formed a plan to ask for Krista's leftovers.

This afternoon Flyer Girl did not make an appearance. Instead, she apparantly sent in her sidekick Flyer Boy. Somehow, he managed to place our Examiner in our mailbox without losing life or limb.

Will wonders never cease?

(For those who are wondering, yes I do realize that my world is far too small if I'm devoting this much energy to the delivery of flyers and the occasional Edmonton Examiner.)

Another theft

I outright stole this from Krista's blog. If I give her credit does that make it ok?

My Alphabet

[A is for age of first kiss:]
Seventeen.
[B is for booze of choice:]
I discovered rye and Coke's just before getting pregnant. I think I still like them.
[C is for career:]
Mom/moo cow. Technically I'm still a Holistic Health Practitioner and Equine Sports Therapist as well.
[D is for your dad's name:]
Howard.
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:]
Me, of course.
[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
The tambourine one on Beck's Guero cd.
[G is for favorite game:]
I like playing Rummy since I can often beat Liam.
[H is for hometown:]
Sherwood Park.
[I is for instruments you play:]
Piano/keyboard.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Raspberry.
[K is for kids?]
Two. Oh, and the big bald one.
[L is for last kiss?]
If we're talking "real" kiss then last night. If we're talking kid smooches than a few minutes ago.
[M is for mom's name:]
Mary Jane.
[N is for name of your crush:]
I don't know that I have one right now. The whole Vin Diesel thing has faded.
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Once when I had each kid, a few nights for gallstones during my first pregnancy, and four nights when Lillian was in for her seizures (though I wasn't a patient then so I don't know if it counts).
[P is for phobias:]
None unless my intense dislike for horror movies counts.
[Q is for quotes you like:]
I don't have any favorites and I'm much too lazy to go look for some right now.
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest]
That would be my current relationship. We've been together just about 3 years.
[S is for sexual preference:]
I like men. They're hot.
[T is for time you wake up:]
Whenever my hooligans wake me up. Anytime between 6 and 8:30 depending on the day.
[U is for underwear:]
Grey, blue, and green pinstripes for me tooday. Woohoo!
[V is for vegetable you love:]
Fresh peas.
[W is for worst habit:]
Being a know-it-all.
[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Skull, spinal, dental, and two pelvic.
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I make the best banana bread I've ever eaten.
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Aquarius.

Yay fun stuff!

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The joys of being a housewife

My life as a stay-at-home mom is busy. Not too terribly fast-paced or stressful, but it fills the hours from sunrise til sunset every day.

Today I faced the dilemma of possibly choosing a new grocery store. My possible switch may come not as a result of intensive price-comparing or even in pursuit of better customer service. No, I think I'll switch because the Sobey's bags fit into my garbage can better than Safeway's. Oh the drama that is my life.

I had a fun conversation this evening with the flyer girl. She delivers the Edmonton Examiner on Wednesdays (which I receive maybe once a month if I'm lucky) and flyers on Fridays. I happened to have my head stuck out the door tonight when she came by. She asked if I could tie Jack up "or something" because he can jump up high enough to put his front paws on the fence. Umm...excuse me? We moved our mailbox (rather, Liam did) to the outside of our fence so that we could receive our mail and junkmail without worrying about people encountering the obstacle that is Jack.

I explained to Flyer Girl that the mail man manages to leave us our mail each day without a problem. I realize that a 20 lb dog on the opposite side of a 4-foot fence presents quite the fearsome sight, but somehow he braves it. Her response was a blank stare tinged with frustration. I told her I would not be tying up my dog for flyers and closed my door. Bite me grumpy dog-fearer.

The excitement of this domestic life is almost too much for me.

Yay, quiz time!

Krista is a bad influence. That is all I have to say.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

You Are a Strawberry Daiquiri

You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party.You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk!

What Mixed Drink Are You?

You Are Japanese Food

Strange yet delicious.Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Ima Hore

Outrageous Name Generator

More pictures

I'm turning into a total bore, I know. I don't have two awake brains cells with which to write anything entertaining, but I do have some oh-so-cute pictures.

A test of sorts

This started out as a test on getting my siggy for a forum to work, but now it's to show it off. Yay. Pretty.

Home again home again...

It's Thursday and we're all finally home again. Lillian was released from the hospital at 10 am today and we almost ran out of the hospital in case they decided to keep us in longer. My Mom dropped Nicholas off a few hours later, and for the first time in 6 days we are a family under the same roof.

Lillian has been seizure-free since Sunday so the medication seems to be working. She'll be on it for a month and hopefully it'll be smooth sailing the whole way through. I still get frightened that she'll have another seizure at any moment, but the panic of the weekend is subsiding. Since the seizures could potentially return later in life I don't think it's a fear I'll ever totally be rid of.

Thank you to everyone for your support over the past few days. The phone calls, e-mails, and prayers have been very much appreciated. Knowing how many people were thinking of us has made this trial much easier to get through.

A picture and an update

This one is for Sean. I do believe that this is the only picture we have of Liam holding Lillian. It's either because he's the one who takes all the pictures or because she's constantly attached to my boob.

We seem to be making some progress in the eating/sleeping cycles. Lillian is actually sleeping for up to four hours at a time and eating all in one go before dozing off again. All I need now is for her to start scheduling some of those four-hour sleeping chunks during the night.

Liam had his best diaper-changing experience yesterday. He got to change a dirty diaper and jinxed himself by saying "This is going to be the easiest one yet" since there was hardly anything in it. No sooner had the words left his lips than Lillian let loose all over the change pad. Then, to top it off, she peed as well. That's my girl.

Baby pictures!!

Liam got the pictures onto the computer today! So...here are some Lillian pics for all to enjoy.

The new happy family.

Mom and baby a few minutes after birth.

Momma and baby a few hours after birth.

A sideways sleepyhead shot.

The classic scale photo. She does have two arms in real life, though.

Kinda fuzzy, but oh-so-cute.

And on that note, Miss Screechy-Pants demands her dairy bar.

There really was a baby in there!!

Despite my late-pregnancy doubtings, there really was a baby in that huge old belly of mine. I gave birth on Sunday to a beautiful little girl who we named Lillian Marie. She's beautiful, girlie, and perfect (a fact which the resident pediatrician officially confirmed).

Our little bundle weighed in at 6 lbs 14 oz and measures 21 inches long. She's my tall skinny girl! She's got lots of long dark hair, and her eyes are that pretty undefined grey/blue color that newborns are so famous for.

There will be pictures and more details soon, but that's all my brain can handle for now!

My oh so cool life

I feel like doing some updates, but I'm not feeling particularly long-winded (for once) so I'm going to use bullets. Bullets are fun.

• I'm now one day away from my "official" due date. Still no baby. Nuff said.

• I've been walking a lot again. Yay! I walked Nicholas to school yesterday afternoon, which took me 30 minutes. In the evening we went on a group tromp in the woods and it took us an hour and a half. Not bad for a hugely pregnant lady if I do say so myself. I did have to make a visit to the bushes, though. Damn you and your coffee Krista!

• Nicholas went to his first full afternoon of kindergarten. I'm still digesting my feelings on it, so I'll probably blog on it later. I'm proud to say that I managed not to cry until I got back home. Woo!

• I'm now just shy of 800 pages into Gone With the Wind. I just may finish it before baby shows up. I'm amazed at how little I remember of the story. It's only been 5 years since I read it last! My hormones ate my brains.

And that is all. Pretty exciting life I lead.

The waiting game.

No, we haven't had the baby yet. No, I'm not in labor.

Those seem to be the two things everyone wants to know these days, so I thought I'd get that cleared up right away.

I'm now three days from my due date and aside from infrequent painful contractions (which mostly seem to happen at night so that I wake up again and again) we have no sign of our baby making his/her grand entrance yet. I was really hoping to have the baby this weekend, especially after learning that our doctor will be gone after Wednesday, but no matter how excited/frustrated/worried I get nothing is happening.

We've now got friends phoning us specifically to ask if we've had our baby yet. I told Liam I don't mind people calling once because it's nice to know we're being thought of, but I'm already impatient enough to get this show on the road without everyone I know telling me they're waiting too. Friends who don't hear from us for a few days assume we're at the hospital, my parents think I'm calling to tell them I'm in labor each time I call, and Liam keeps calling home to ask if I'm in labor yet.

Nicholas also starts his first full afternoon of kindergarten tomorrow, so now we've got school to throw in the mix. He actually told me he wants the baby to be born tonight so he can skip tomorrow and go Friday instead. Hhmm...coming up with excuses to skip class a little early are we kiddo?

The end is near.

It's official. I'm exactly 12 days away from my official due date. While this whole due date thing is obviously not an exact science, it does mean that I'm really freaking close to giving birth to this baby. It could happen any day between now and 3 1/2 weeks from now.

I've known since Nicholas was two minutes old that I wanted more children. I didn't know how or when until the whole Liam thing happened, but I knew I was headed in that direction. Throughout our dating days and engagement period, Liam and discussed when we would have more kids and it wasn't too long after we officially tied the knot that we decided to make the big leap. Two months later, we sat in the living room staring at a little stick, Liam with a look of glee on his face and me with "Holy shit, what have we done?" screaming in my brain.

Almost exactly 8 months later, I sit here with an abdomen that greatly resembles a watermelon in both size and stripes, feet that don't fit any normal shoes I own, and ankles that lack anything even remotely close to ankle bones. And I wait.

Every day Nicholas and I discuss whether or not the baby will be born that day. Every time I drive by the hospital I say to my belly "We're right near the hospital. Any thoughts on coming out?". And every time I talk to a friend I repeat the same "No, there's no baby yet" phrase. And I wait.

On the one hand, I can't wait for this baby to be born. I'd really like my body back, and I'd really like to be able to walk up the stairs without feeling like I've just sprinted around the block. I'm also concerned about what I'll do if my sandals no longer fit. I also have to admit that the idea of wearing something other than my black maternity capris and Liam's U of L shorts is akin to the midwinter dreamings of warm spring mornings.

On the other hand, I've still got one foot firmly planted in "I'm not yet ready for this baby" world. The biggie, obviously, is going through labor. As much as I've prepared myself and created a support system which includes Liam and my doula Kara, it looms in front of me like a huge stormcloud full of unknown possibilities. There are also many small things which cause me to mentally hesitate. This may be my last pregnancy and I may never again experience the joys of feeling my child's body move inside of my own. Nicholas will never again be my only child. Our lives will be dramatically changed as a new little soul comes into our home.

I think it's a good thing that labor starts spontaneously. If I were able to control when it started, I'd wait until I felt totally ready and I can't say that that time would ever actually arrive. I'm ready, and I'm not. In the end the choice of when this baby arrives won't be up to me, but I do know that the moment my child is placed in my arms will be the exact right moment.

What ever happened to my 100 things?

I made it through the first 50 things about myself but somehow I fizzled out after that. I can't say that I'll tell 100 things then only do half that. That would be oh so wrong. So, here we go...

51) My natural hair color is brown, but I've dyed it red and black. I've also had blonde streaks. I've sworn never to dye my hair again, at least not while I've got it long.

52) When I was a little kid I used to think it'd be cool to be a rock star, but I'm too shy to sing in front of anyone other than Nicholas.

53) My favorite color is blue.

54) I've had 6 different homes in my life.

55) I've had stitches 6 times. Coincidence? Hhmm...

56) I get cold sores. I despise them. I have one now and I want to rip off my lip.

57) I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and want the baby to come OUT.

58) When I was angry as a kid, I used to imagine that I was adopted.

59) I now wear my wedding and grad rings on a chain around my neck because my fingers are too puffy to get them on and off. And on the same note, only three pairs of my shoes fit me now.

60) I have a hard time believing that I'm a "real" grownup. I still feel like I'm pretending at the whole mom and wife thing.

61) Half of my front right tooth is fake. I smashed it when I fell off my bike as a kid and landed on my face. Ouch.

62) I don't like scary movies. They scare me. Being scared is bad.

63) I used to pay for my horse's board by cleaning out stalls. I kind of miss being sweaty and smelling like horse poo.

64) When Liam tricked me into thinking he wasn't going to propose to me and then turned around a proposed, I was angry. Not for pretend. I was pissed off. But I still said yes.

65) I'm currently re-reading Gone With the Winds. The first time I read it was when I was 38 weeks pregnant with Nicholas. I like patterns.

66) I cannot stand Chris Farley. Watching him "act" makes me want to hurt someone.

67) Through pregnancies and breastfeeding, my body so far has supported the life of another for a total of 63 months. I rock.

68) My brother is getting married in May. I'm excited to have a really good reason to go to Vancouver. Oh, and I'm excited that my brother is getting married, of course.

69) I once got drunk at a bar and kissed a guy I'd met that night. We were both incredibly wasted and couldn't remember each other's names. Thank goodness for Tricia being my chaperone!

70) I worked at Radio Shack for a total of two years. I was such a geek.

And now one for Liam

I'm putting a warning right at the top of this entry. This is going to be mushy and lovey-dovey. If you don't like that kind of thing, run run away.

I decided to dedicate an entry to the good parts of Liam. This is partly to make up for what a good sport he was about the previous entry that picked on him, and partly because today is our one-year wedding anniversary. I also decided to make this a public statement because although I tease Liam quite often in front of others, I don't think that I acknowledge nearly often enough what a dear and wonderful man he is. So, here we go...

Liam, there are so many things about you for which I'm grateful. Thank you a million times over for the million ways in which you make my life better.

Thank you for your kindness and patience. You treat me better than I sometimes feel I deserve, and you put up with my mood swings, rants, and pickiness with grace. I'm still not quite sure how you manage it.

Thank you for how hard you work to provide for us. I truly appreciate being a stay at home mom, and I could obviously never do this without you working so hard. For all the work you do and all the extra hours you put into overtime, thank you.

Thank you for being such a great dad. I never dared hope that I would find someone who would be as wonderful as you have been with Nicholas. And for this coming baby, thank you for taking care of me during this pregnancy and supporting me by attending all the doctor's appointments. I love that you're just as thrilled over every little milestone as I am.

Thank you for being my best friend. I truly do feel that I have found my partner in life on all levels. This past year has been incredible. You've brought so much happiness and fulfillment into my life. The happy times have been blissful, the tough times have been few and far between, and the life before us fills me with joy.

It's called a vagina.

It's 8:30 in the morning and I've already ranted at Liam twice today. One of these rants involved the word vagina. It's not nearly as vulgar or interesting as you may hope.

I frequent a pregnancy forum where a whole bunch of women are due sometime in September 2005. It's fun to discuss things with women who are at the same stage in their pregnancies and I enjoy hearing what other people's experiences are like.

One thing really bugs me though, and that is the fact that so many women seem to have problems calling their vagina a vagina. So many times it's hinted at ("down there", "my girl parts") or re-named ("my no-no hole", "my hoo-hoo"). Then, more often than not, the poster apologizes for bringing up the fact that they have a vagina at all ("sorry, TMI"). It drives me batty.

We are all obviously women who know a little bit about our anatomy. We are all non-virgins and have gone through at least one pelvic exam with a doctor. Some of us have even given birth already, yet there is still this inability to write the word vagina. Come on people, we all have them and we all know we have them. The whole part about being female and having gotten pregnant kind of makes it obvious.

If my kid can tell you that a baby comes out of a woman's vagina, shouldn't an adult be able to say the same thing?

Life goes on

Today is a day of milestones.

1) Nicholas has his first oral freezing. He had two fillings put in this morning and was an absolute champ about it. His Mom, though, was almost in tears. Pregnant women should not witness their children undergoing stressful events.

2) My parents come back from Nova Scotia in...2 hours and 50 minutes. Ish. They've been away for four weeks. They'll be spending Friday through Sunday with Nicholas. I can hear myself snoring already.

3) Nicholas had his last ever day of preschool.

Which brings me to the meat of today's blog. Nicholas is starting kindergarten in two weeks. As much as this is something that all (well, most I guess) kids end up doing, this is a first for both him and me. He's never been a school kid before, and I've never been the mom of a school kid.

Now, Liam tried to downplay this whole thing recently by pointing out that Nicholas has been in various preschool classes for a few years now, but there is a world of difference. Preschool was once or twice a week and I had the option every three months of putting him in another class or keeping him home. Also, the longest class he's ever had was 2 1/2 hours (admittedly not much shorter than the 3-hour kindergarten days).

Our life until now has basically been the two of us hanging out. Sometimes he goes to Grandma's, sometimes I was at work or at school, but the main chunk of our time together was just being home. Yes, I realize that four days a week of 3-hour days is really not a whole lot of time, but the idea that my child is now entering the school system where he'll be staying (hopefully) for the next 13 years is a little bit daunting.

I'm going to be sharing my son with a teacher I've never met before and asking him/her to fill his head with knowledge. That's been my job until now. I can't help but feel a little bit put out.

Another aspect to this whole school thing is realizing that I have a school-aged child. Holy crap. When did that happen? I've just finally gotten my brain wrapped around the fact that I'm old enough to have a kid, nevermind one who's old enough to toddle off to school every day. I've gone from being a single mom who goes to college to being a married woman who's sending her oldest child off to school and waiting for her youngest to make his/her appearance into the world. Another daunting thought.

Here's one just for Dylan

As a follow-up to the Nicholasism with the Transformers...

He's got a little Transformers catalogue/comic book thing that came with one of his toys. He's fascinated by the different names. He caught my attention when he started talking about this one guy, Octopus Crime. Yeah.

Oh, and on the topic of Nicholasisms, we were recently driving by some church when Nicholas was supposed to be asleep in the back seat. I was reading out loud their wacky billboard out front and it had something along the lines of "Have you ever wrestled with God?". A little voice from the back seat piped up "God would win.". I almost peed myself laughing.

It's all about attitude, baby

The other night before going to bed I noticed that Liam had left his bread out on the table (I call it his bread because is the bag of heels that Nicholas and I have snubbed and left in the freezer). As I wrapped it back up and put it back in the freezer, I had an image pop into my head: I'm 75 years old and hobbling around the house putting bread away and picking up dirty socks.

Now, for anyone who doesn't know Liam and his domestic-type habits, here's a little snapshot. After he eats a sandwich, the bread is left out on the counter beside the mustard and the margarine (both with their lids off), every drawer and cupboard that he has used is left open, and his dirty plate is still on the counter. Oh, and Liam is gone, never to be seen again.

Back to the story at hand...I put the bread away and came upstairs to Liam who was in the computer room with this image of myself still picking up after him fresh in my mind. Halfway up the stairs I realized that I could look at all of this in one of two ways: I could get annoyed at his constant absentmindedness and dread this aspect of our shared life for the next however many years to come, or I could just get over it and accept that this is the way he is. I realized that I'm really not all that interested in being a grumpy bitch for the rest of my life. That's what pregnancy and PMS were made for.

I walked into the computer room and told Liam about my experience and I was laughing so hard I more fell on him than hugged him as I meant to. As I explained how I figured I could choose to deal with his foibles or divorce him he sat very still. I think he was trying to figure out which one I was leaning towards.

I think I'll stick with picking up behind him. After all, he gives awesome back rubs and I'll need someone to change all those stinky diapers that are soon coming out way.

Ummm??

There is an alien doing somersaults in my belly. I just thought the world should know.

That is all.

Nicholasisms

My kid is fun. He is, by far, the most entertaining person I've ever met. In order to make the world a brighter and happier place, I thought I'd share some of his quotes.

"It hurt like ten elephants. Dead."
- This is an old one. I think it was a little before his 4th birthday.

"Help Dad! Thanks Liam!"
- All said in one breath. Liam will "rescue" him immediately if he calls him Dad, but Nicholas apparently doesn't want to use this term any more than necessary.

"Transformers. Mordent meeds in dyes."
- His attempt to sing the Transformers song.

"My skin is pink because of Piglet."
-He meant pigment.

"I don't want to ask for something!"
- He was pulling a double 4-year-old moment: eavesdropping on an adult conversation and disagreeing with everything he heard.

"You're my favorite person in the world."
- The most beautiful words in the world. He tells me this every day.

"You'll be able to run faster once you get rid of the baby, but you still won't be as fast as me."
- No explanation needed.

"You put one two nurses in there."
- His reply (at age 2 I think) as to what a bra is for. He used to call my boobs my nurses. The poor messed up breastfed boy.

"God makes the baby invisible and when the mom isn't looking he drops him in her mouth."
- His explanation of how babies get inside of moms. We've since had some talks about the birds and the bees.

"There is summer vacation because during the summer God rested from all his work."
- apparently his version of the story of creation. Uh huh.

Me? Nosy?

This afternoon we received a phone call from our new neighbors (the Leddys for those not in the know) to alert us to the fact that there were police down in the parking lot. Being nosy, I went to the kitchen window, but saw only one police car with nobody in it. Since it sounded like there were gobs of police out there, I sent Liam, and then Nicholas, up to the bedroom to see what they could see (...the other side of the mountain...?). Unfortunately, all they could see was the single police car.

That wasn't good enough for me. I needed to know what was going on. At one point, I wondered if I was curious because I worried that my personal security was at risk. But no...I just wanted to find out what was happening because of a general lack of excitement in my life (Sorry Liam, nothing personal.)

Anyhow, I was suddenly struck by the idea of sending Liam down to the dumpster with some garbage, using that as a pretense to be walking around in the parking lot. I grabbed the nearest reasonably-full garbage can and pulled the bag out.

As Liam walked outside, he pointed out that if something was actually happening out there it might not be that safe for him.

"There could be shooting," he said.

I came back with "There are police out there."

"You know what police have."

"Yeah," I said "They have good aim. Go!"

So, dutiful and indulgent husband that Liam is, off he went. As I waited at the gate for him I started to feel guilty. What if something did happen? Would I be able to live with the guilt? How would I raise two children on my own if he was gone? On and on my over-emotional hormone-induced thought process went.

Then Liam was back. He shrugged and said "There's only the one car."

Hhmph. All that excitement and then guilt over nothing.

Liam had found some pieces of glass on the ground so he headed back down to the dumpster again to throw them out. Just as he headed down one set of stairs, Krista came up the other set. She was carrying the Christmas lights they were giving us and a movie they had borrowed, both of which I'd forgotten to take home last night. Within a couple of seconds, she revealed that there was no hurry to drop these items off, but she was curious to see what was going on in the parking lot.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one covering up my nosy-ness with fake reasons to be walking around the complex. I'm also glad that I'm not the only one to feel so disappointed at it turning out to be nothing at all.

Open letters

It's open letters day at the Johnstone house. And, since I'm currently the only Johnstone home (besides the baby who can't type very well through my belly) I'm the one writing the open letters.

To my neighbor's cat:

Shut up. I've fallen asleep and woken up for the past two days to the sound of your howling. If you're in heat, get laid. If you're just being a pain, I'm going to get out my spray bottle and hunt you down. Enough already. Tell the same thing to that other cat who was out there with you this morning.


To my unborn child:

I know that I've made mention throughout this pregnancy that I don't want to go past my due date, but please don't take that to mean that I want you to be born extremely early either. My parents (your grandparents) are going to be on the other side of the country for the next four weeks and I DO NOT want to give birth to you without my mother being somewhere nearby. I need her for both me and for Nicholas. Four weeks will bring us to 37 weeks. You can hang on that long if I can.

To my house:

Do you suppose there's a button somewhere around here that puts you into self-cleaning mode? Kinda like an oven...? No? Damn.

That is all for now. Thank you.

The night of the cashier

Liam and I were kid-free last night (other than the currently non-disposable child) so we spent some time away from home. For anyone who knows my life, this is a big thing. Yeah. Anyhow, we first went to the off-leash area to walk Jack and attempt to wiggle some of the stiffness out of my back. It was a great time between the beautiful sunshine, the oh-so-cute dogs, and the great company.

On our way home, we decided to have a movie and junk food night. Mmmm. We stopped off at Rogers Video and when we entered the door we were greeted by the most bubbly and high-pitched hello I've ever heard. Uh huh. I should have run away then. During the 15 minutes or so that we browsed movies, she kept getting more giggly and high-pitched. It was painful. I heard her get so excited over trying to sell a guy some candy that she tripped over her tongue, burst out laughing, and had to start the whole speech over again. By this point, my ears were bleeding.

There was also the incident of the beeping phone. A cordless was left on and, as phones tend to do when ignored, started beeping. She jumped back and forth between the till and the phone like a jittery chicken, exclaiming "The phones are going crazy! The phones are going crazy!". No, sweetheart, they're not. One phone needed to be turned off. Maybe they shouldn't be leaving you alone out front yet.

By the time we made our purchase, the poor girl was almost vibrating with enthusiasm and her voice had reached dog-pitched tones. After stumbling through our sale and backtracking on what she was doing at least twice, she managed to ring it through. I think she giggled at least five times before asking us for our money. When she went to hand Liam his change, a penny went flying and she burst into giggles again. She finally managed to pick it up and shove the money into Liam's hand.

By the time we made it out the door, I was dying. Not figuratively, but literally. I've never had such a painful shopping experience. And no, I really don't think it had anything at all to do with the fact that I'm incredibly bitchy lately and can't stand people. Pregnancy hormones are my friend. Really.

To change it up a little

Since my last entry got eaten by Blogger, here's a different type of post. Hopefully the high-powered crap editor will leave it alone.

I love my kid. Really, I do. I kiss and cuddle him all the time and tell him at least 100 times a day how much I love him. I miss him when he's away and I come close to crying when I think about him starting kindergarten.

Sometimes, though, I just want to put his head under the couch and leave him there.

My son talks. And talks and talks and talks. I guess it's normal for a 4 3/4 year-old, but it drives me to the brink of insanity after a few hours. It's worse these days because he's totally gotten back into the why stage.

Example:

"Why doesn't the toy work?"

"Because it needs a battery. It takes button cells and we don't have any."

"Oh. Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why don't we have any?"

"Because I haven't bought any."

"Why haven't you bought any?"

"Because I haven't gone to the store yet."

"Oh. Why haven't you gone to the store yet?"

And on and on and on. If why's don't work anymore, he switches to how's.

The other day we had the most ridiculous conversation in the history of the world. I was reading him his book about sharks and it got to the part about how mothers will sometimes eat their young.

"The pups swim away quickly in case the mother is hungry."

"Why would she be hungry?"

"Because she needs to eat."

"And who would she eat?"

"Her pups."

"And why do they swim away?"

"So she won't eat them."

"Oh. (long pause) Why hungry?"

"What?"

"Who?"

"What?"

"What?"

At which point we were left sitting there staring at each other.

He's a smart kid. He can count to 100 (with a bit of help), knows his alphabet, does simple addition and subtraction, and has even started to sound out words and read. He just doesn't listen when I talk and so comes accross as being incredibly dim-witted at times. Maybe he's been spending too much time with his Dad...

Will it never end?

The next time I say I'm going to state 100 of anything, someone smack me. Seriously.

36) I've owned five dogs in my life. Skunky (a black and white terrier), Lady (a Cocker Spaniel cross), Oliver (world's grumpiest dog ever), Riley (the summertime Lab), and Jack (a black and white terrier). I've come full circle.

37) As opposed to what my dear son may think, I prefer to use the bathroom alone. I have this strange notion that it's a time for quiet solitude, not conversations about Pokemon or Sponge Bob.

38) I've never been to Europe, and I'll be an extremely grumpy old woman if I never get to go. (There's a subtle hint for you Liam)

39) I love my husband. I'm also in love with him. I think they can be very different things.

40) On the topic of Liam, I love the way he stutters and stumbles through what he's saying when he get's very animated. It's cute. I try not to laugh out loud, but usually fail miserably.

41) I lost my high school grad ring. I regret it, but now I wear my college grad ring anyhow.

42) I think I'm right all the time. Just ask Liam.

43) I know how to throw a football, sort of. I got Liam to teach me and yelled at him every time he offered me advice.

44) As a follow-up to #43, I hate not knowing how to do something. It makes me feel dumb and I don't deal well with that.

45) I watched "Sixth Sense" 5 years ago and I still get scared from it sometimes. Dead people creep me out.

46) I like blue. It's pretty.

47) My feet are now so swollen that even my sandals are getting too tight. This didn't happen last pregnancy. It's not fair. Somehow, I'll find a way to blame Liam.

48) I can play the piano a bit. I took lessons for two years and I play a bit now and then.

49) And now for something I'm sure none of you really want/need to know: I've gone from a C cup to a D cup. Jugsy Johnstone indeed.

50) I've lost my kid twice. Once in Walmart and once in Costco, for a total combined time of something like 2 1/2 minutes. These have been, by far, the two most frightening experiences of my life. Yes, even more so than dead people.

And still more

26) I have a tattoo of a vine on my ankle that I got when I was 18. I've recently had thoughts of adding to it, probably something along the lines of a flower for each family member.

27) I technically have 6 piercings in my ears, but I think 3 of them have grown in so much that I can't use them anymore. I wear earings only a few times a year anyhow.

28) I'm allergic to penecillin and possibly codeine. Penecillin gives me rashes and codeine makes me puke repeatedly.

29) I have one sibling, a brother who is 28 and lives in Vancouver. He's getting married next year.

30) I own a cat named Mouse. He was born in what is now the back entrance to my parents' house 14 or so years ago. He lives with my parents and annoys the hell out of them.

31) I have an unhealthy fascination with chocolate. If it's there, I can eat it until I make myself ill or it's gone, whatever comes first. Just ask Liam about the bridge mixture.

32) When I was little, my brother used to call me Fungus Ear. I had near-constant ear infections, and the doctor had said something at one point about it being a fungus or something. The details are fuzzy now, but my brother got the desired reaction over and over again.

33) When I was young, I couldn't say Trevor (my brother's name) so I called him Coco instead. I still bug him with it from time to time.

34) My kid tells me every day that I'm his favorite person in the world. I can't ask for much more than that.

35) I love coffee. I quit when I was pregnant with Nicholas and managed to stay away from it until I started dating Liam. This pregnancy, I've managed to keep it to a few cups on the weekends. Coffee, at a certain temperature and strength, is the deitary equivilant of sex. Mmm...coffee.

Getting to know me...more

To pick up somewhere near where I left off last time:

16) I get totally weirded out when the baby kicks. I've been feeling movement for something like 15 weeks this time around, and I felt Nicholas dancing up a storm last time around, but it's still creepy on some level.

17) When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a teacher. I don't know what happened to that idea, but I think I may have realized that I couldn't stand other people's children for that many hours each week.

18) When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted to be a vet. I ended up dropping out of Physics 30 when my mark dipped down to 40% or so, and I gave up on that dream.

19) I own a horse. I bought her when I was 14, and I paid for her with my babysitting money. Saving $2000 takes a long time when you're 14.

20) I'm now selling my horse. I haven't had the time to be serious about riding since before Nicholas was born, and with a new baby on the way things aren't really looking up in the equestrian part of my life. It's taken me 2 years to come to grips with the fact that I need to sell her. She was my first "baby".

21) I don't wear my wedding rings or my grad ring when I'm at home. I blame it on my puffy pregnant fingers, but I took them off quite often before I was pregnant.

22) I paid my parents $1 for my first car. It was an Olds Omega that I named Casey. The radio only played karaoke style on FM, the rear defrost button worked one time out of twenty, and there was a Green Swamp of Death on the passenger side floor. I sold it to a Newfie for $300.

23) I thought Nicholas was going to be a girl. His name was going to be Danika Marie.

24) The first time I met Liam I was 6 months pregnant with Nicholas, and Liam couldn't tell that I was pregnant. I thought he was a knob. Cute and interesting, but definitely a knob.

25) I once stole a toy from my nursery school. It was a little plastic lamb that all the kids wanted to play with. I stole it so that I could have it to myself, but forgot about it once I brought it home. I found it in a drawer years later and threw it out.

Getting to know all about you

I saw this somewhere and I thought it was cool.

Here are 100 things about me. I'm doing this in installments, because as cool and interesting as I am, even I don't feel like talking about me for that much time in one day.

1) I've gone to school for a total of 19 years: 2 of kindergarten (gotta love being a January baby), grades 1-12, two years at the British Columbia College of Equine Therapy, and 3 years at Grant MacEwan in the Holistic Health Practitioner program. I'm mega-smart now...and I'm a stay-at-home mom. Yeah.

2) I don't have a gall bladder. I had it removed when Nicholas was a week old after having attacks throughout my pregnancy. Labor was more bearable than gall bladder attacks. Ick.

3) My parents have been married for almost 31 years. I think that's pretty awesome. Hopefully Lumpy and I will make it at least that long!

4) My favorite authors include Rosamunde Pilcher, Belva Plain, Robin Hobb, Tanya Huff, Robert Fulghum, Mercedes Lackey, Morgan Llyweyn, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Caroline Myss, and Gary Zukav. Yay books.

5) I hate melons. Of any sort. They are the devil.

6) Continuing on the topic of missing body parts, I have had 8 adult teeth removed: all 4 wisdom teeth and all 4 eye teeth. On the plus side, my teeth now all fit into my mouth properly (with equal credit given to my orthodontist). On the minus side, I will never be a vampire. *sigh*

7) I seem to like September due dates. My first baby was due September 27, 2000. My second baby is due September 9, 2005. I also seem to like being pregnant in the summer. Really.

8) I'm an Advanced Reiki Practitioner. That means I was attuned three separate times, and, according to Jason, give strong Reiki Soup now. Mmm...soup.

9) I breastfed my son for a total of 2 years and 10 months. Yes, I'm one of those mothers. Don't get me started 'cause I like to talk.

10) I've been in three wedding parties in my life. I was flower girl for my uncle's wedding, maid of honor at my friend's wedding, and bride in...well, my wedding.

11) Although I like to think that I live my life without regret, sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock for an instant and hit him back. Just once. It would be incredibly satisfying.

12) My baby toes don't touch the floor when I stand. They're puny. Apparantly it's a hereditary thing.

13) I despise nail files. The sound of nails being filed sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me.

14) I've been growing my hair out for 4 years and it's still not long enough. There is no pleasing me.

15) I believe there's much more to the world than what we see. I've had conversations with trees, no matter what Liam says.

And that's my bit for today. I feel like I know myself oh so much more already. Go Kim!

Monday morning rant

Here are some words of advice to the world.

To my idiot neighbors: It's probably really not a good idea to have drunken idiots pissing on your front lawn at 11:45 on a Sunday night in the middle of an extremely loud party. It's makes for angry neighbors. When one of those grumpy neighbors happens to be a hormonal pregnant woman who feels like she's going on her second straight week of extreme PMS, you risk having heavy appliances thrown at your soft skulls. Screw you for waking me up.

To my kid: When I say that 6 am is too early to get up, you're better off just going back to sleep. Wiggling your toes on my bare ass isn't likely to wake me up happy. There's a reason why I'm now grumping around the house. Right now it involves above-mentioned idiot neighbors and your early-morning ass-poking. And it's only 8:29 am. It's got to go up from here. Right?

To my unborn child: I realize that I said I'd never again complain about you kicking because of the scare last week, but give my bladder and other internal organs a break. Seriously.

To my husband: Be glad you're a 20-minute drive away from me this morning. You may want to buy a pillow and some supper over your lunch break.

On that note, I need some coffee and the woods (the leafy type, not the Etsell).

Longest day of the year

I had an adventure this morning. I freaked myself out because I'd hardly felt the baby move yesterday afternoon/evening and then again all this morning. Long story short, I went to the hospital to have baby checked on and all is well. Liam goes into more elaborate detail here: http://www.liamj.blogspot.com/ .

This afternoon I came home will good intentions. I was going to do the cleaning I was supposed to have done this morning and I was going to go run some errands. Instead, I ended up being too tired out from all the stressing I'd done and I took it easy. I did some painting. I did some writing.

I even went over to visit with a neighbor and showed her our wedding pictures while drinking a slushie her daughter went and picked up for me. I'm totally spoiled. The neighbor is an Avon lady so she gave me one of the new books. I'm thinking that shopping would be just the therapy I need to fully recover from my day. A little bit of lip gloss goes a long long way.

And so it begins...

Hmm...a blog, hey? Yet another place to virtually record all the happenings of my life.

I unfortunately don't have anything too terribly thought-provoking or insightful to put into this entry. Liam would be so ashamed of me.

Yay first entry. I'll be back when I have deeper thoughts to record.

About Me

I'm Kim, mama to three truly fantastic little people and wife to the world's best husband (my apologies to all the other women out there for snagging him). I enjoy things like reading and writing, and I'm passionate about things like birthing, breastfeeding, and unschooling. I like to take pictures of pretty things and I like to cook yummy things. I have a business called My Nature Baby where I help families to return to a place of balance and joy, a place where I try to steer this burbling little family of ours too.