01 December 2005

I want a sick day. Who do I call?

I need a substitute Mommy, someone who can feed and dress the kids as well as change some diapers and pick up toys. If she could lactate as well that would be a huge bonus.

I want to spend the day in bed with a thick blanket, a good book, and a hot toddy.

Seriously, people, I need a phone number.


domesticvixen said...

I wouldn't mind getting that number myself.

And your brother is off getting married, stealing your parents (no hope of help arriving, at least with the Nick and toy picking up issue) - how selfish of him! Wanting to be happy with the woman he loves!

KimProbable said...

Actually, it looks like they're going to wait until May. But things may change before Saturday. I'm terribly out of the loop.

On the home front, at what point am I allowed to throttle my kid? When he decides to turn off the swing because he doesn't want Lillian to sleep anymore (yep, she woke up within five minutes and was screaming) or when he tells me that I'm not invited to his birthday party?

domesticvixen said...

This is why I have been suggesting that kids should be put in boxes. Big, sound proof boxes. With maybe a few air holes, just so it's not cruel.

KimProbable said...

Or maybe I could be put in a box. That'd give the boy room to run and keep me safe and cozy.

domesticvixen said...

But then he'd know you were in the box and would be hitting the box all day, yelling questions, and telling you every detail of his every action (at least twice), and saying "mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom..."

If you put the kid in the box, the box can then be placed elsewhere. Away from you. Perhaps even on another level of the house. Perhaps in the yard.

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