Being Known

Yesterday evening, Liam and I were exhausted from a lack of sleep and a busy day so we did what any sane parents who knew their kids will be up early would do: we stayed up talking until 1 am. Today I'm crusty and feeling sick with the germs the kids so nicely shared with me but I wouldn't undo staying up late with Liam for anything. It was one of those soul-baring discussions where we shared our feelings and discussed past ups and downs from our relationship.

Moments such as the one we shared last night remind me just how incredible it is to be married to a man as dedicated and loving as Liam. Sharing my daily life with him brings so much significance to even the small and mundane.

This morning as I reflect on the evening, I'm struck by how important it is to me that I experience being fully and accurately seen by Liam. While parts of marriage such as sharing moments or being taken care of are deeply meaningful, I think that being truly known and then cherished is significant in a completely different way.

I'm so aware of how friends and others see me. I pay attention to my appearance, my words, and what I share of myself. With Liam, I share all of me. He held me while I puked my guts out, he danced me through hours of contractions, and he's watched me have mini-meltdowns. He's seen me at my very best and my very worst and not only is he still around but our relationship is deeper and stronger every day.

Having someone see the full and unedited me and react by loving me more is affirming like nothing else could be. The only other people who have known me this fully are my parents and brother, but they didn't choose me and they can't untie their ties to me.

The roller coaster of early love is a thrilling experience that I enjoyed and look back on with fondness. The depth of longer-term love, though, is what fuels me and brings true beauty to my life.