Snapshots of a lifetime

Tonight, I'm preparing a Father's Day gift for my Dad. I've been going through all my pictures, paper and digital, in search of the nine perfect photos to put in the frame I've bought him. It's so easy to forget how many pictures I have stashed away in my picture box and in various folders on the computer, but so many vivid memories are re-awoken when I flip through them.

There are a few small photographs of me as a young child which have been handed down from my mother. My small chubby cheeks so full of life show glimmers of the gleeful grins of my children years away from existence. Life was so simple then. Summers were so bright, my brother was my hero, and my parents knew all the secrets to life.

Another section shows my life during high school with friends long gone and some still dear to me. I want to step into those pictures and say "Stop being so scared of looking stupid and just enjoy yourself. You're young and brilliant and you can do anything".

After the high school pictures come the pregnancy pictures. I laugh now at how huge I thought I was. Six months pregnant and you can't even see that bump under that huge t-shirt! Just wait til the next baby, chick, that'll show you what a big belly looks like. I was so young, so unaware of all the changes that were about to come into my life with the entrance of such a small beautiful boy. I had no idea what it meant to be a mother and how many lessons I would learn deep within my heart, many of them during the darkest hours of night as my babe and I nestled together.

The stack of Nicholas' baby and early childhood pictures is huge. We took shot after shot of that daring grin and those dancing eyes. I'm blown away at how quickly those chubby little legs grew long and lean, and I still can't quite figure out where those cheeks I used to kiss for hours on end went.

As life continued there are the pictures of such happy times: the night I met Liam, Jo and Graeme's wedding, my wedding and honeymoon. As I look back on these pictures I know I am truly blessed to have had a life filled with so many loving people who have borought me such joy.

Now I have another pile of baby pictures growing, though these are almost exclusively digital. Lillian's babyhood is such a part of my life right now that I can't imagine looking back and saying "She was such a beautiful baby and look what a big girl she is now". I love how soft and sweet she is and I cannot imagine her ever changing.

As much as I may try to hang on to the present, though, all these pictures have reminded me of just how quickly change sweeps through everything. My interests change, new friends come into my life, and my children grow up more quickly than I can keep track of. I love my life exactly as it is right now. I would give so much to freeze everything just as it is right now so I could enjoy these moments forever...The deep and fulfilling love I have found with Liam, Nicholas' bright and curious spirit, and the deliciousness of Lillian. I know, though, that new joys and experiences await me, and I can't wait to see what the future holds for my family. I'll just make sure to take lots of pictures so I don't forget what today has been.

Open letters once more

I apologize to my poor blog and those poor people who read it. I've rather neglected my blogging duties lately, and although I've been crazy busy these past few weeks there's no good reason for ignoring a perfectly fun blog.

To break the recent silence, here are some open letters.

To Intuit,

I want my freaking husband back. Sure, you may have given him a job that he loves so much that work is like play, but you're going to kill him if he doesn't get some sleep soon. Not to mention the kids barely recognize him anymore. Today, I sat at the computer and Nick looked around and asked "Where's Liam?". It's a sign. Leave him alone for a few hours now and then would you?

To my neighbour's mom,

I'm sure Neighbour Chick appreciates that you're house-sitting for her, but the rest of us would appreciate it if you'd tone down your porn-like escapades. When my baby wakes up at 4 am because you're literally screaming your little head off, you're making too much noise. It's nice and all that you're getting so much enjoyment out of your sex life this late in life, but the rest of the world really don't need to hear about it once or twice every night. Shut the hell up.

To Nicholas,

Please erase the phrase "Stop telling me what to do!" from your brain. You can also lump in "He-LLO?" with it too. You're not a teenager yet so stop talking like one.

Sad news

For those of you who recall my entry requesting prayers for a young woman a few months ago, I wanted to share the sad news of her passing. I'm shocked by the sudden downward turn her health took and I still don't quite have my brain wrapped around it. I can only hope that her family is able to find some some comfort in this time of sorrow.

The following is her obituary.


Tanya Kilkenny


KILKENNY, Tanya Marie (nee Sundlie) 1975-2006 It is with great sorrow we announce the passing of Tanya Kilkenny, our beloved "T" on Thursday, June 1, 2006 at the age of 30 years. Tanya leaves to mourn her loving husband, Clint and her five month old daughter Trinity; her parents Gordon and Sandria Sundlie; her sister Shawna (Keven) McGhan and their children Ethan and Julia; her brother David Sundlie. Also surviving are her mother-in-law Myra Kilkenny and brothers-in-law Brad (Jamie) and Tyler. Four days after Tanya was diagnosed with cancer, she had a healthy baby girl, Trinity, by emergency c-section and had surgery to remove the tumor. Always upbeat and positive throughout an aggressive chemotherapy and radiation regimen, Tanya was an inspiration to many. Sadly one month after a clear bill of health, the aggressive cancer returned and she passed away surrounded by family and friends. Tanya grew up on acreage in Sherwood Park and from a young age loved horses. The free and wild yet gentle spirit of horses exemplified her life. She graduated with distinction from University of Alberta with a commerce degree. Tanya made her passion for people and horses her livelihood which was evident in everything that she did. Her riding students, friends and families meant the world to her. The family would like to thank the doctors and staff at the Cross Cancer Clinic and Royal Alexandra Hospital for their loving care during her illness. A Memorial Service will be held on Tuesday, June 6, 2006 at 2:00 p.m. at Mount Olivet Lutheran Church, 205 Fir Street, Sherwood Park. Friends who so wish may make donations to the "Trinity Kilkenny Trust" fund. This may be done at any Alberta Treasury Branch. South Side Memorial Chapel. Patterson, Mittelstadt & Justik. 432-1601. To send condolences visit, www.southsidememorial.com