Gharg.

To the cashier at Safeway,

Surely, if two school-aged children and one baby can keep from smooshing my bag of apricots during our grocery trip, you could have managed to do the same. I bought three apricots specifically for my baby, so when I found them crushed underneath a bag of apples I was more than just a little bit frustrated. Don't they teach you how to bag groceries properly in Cashier 101?

Signed,
The not-so-satisfied customer


Dear Lily,

Cheer the heck up.

Sure you're cute, but looks will only get you so many hours of whining time. Two days straight is more than enough.

Much love,

The Mom who's sick of all the complaining

P.S. Peeing all over me today when I was running your bath was a trick I'd rather not see you repeat again, thanks.



Dear milk,

I'm very afraid that you're bad for me. While it would be nice to find out that my recent ill health is thanks to you so I could quickly get better, I'm going to be sad if we have to part ways completely. Sure, I'm not the kind of girl to chug down tall glasses of your frothy goodness (unless I'm pregnant of course), but life won't be the same without my double-doubles or my crackers and cheese. The rice milk makes me feel like I'm cheating on you, but what's a girl to do?

Signed,
Not sure if I love you or if I hate you.


Oh, and I almost forgot...

Dear Liam,

Thank you for taking the kids to the playground this evening. Being in the house alone listening to really loud Guess Who is the equivilant of drinking daiquiris on a patio, without the inconvenience of drunken breastfeeding.

Giant kisses to you,

Your wife who is ALL ALONE in the house!!!!