Blessings

This morning, a woman I know told me how her 6-month-old daughter was diagnosed earlier this week as having a serious congenital heart defect which will require open-heart surgery in the very near future. I realized just how blessed I am to have two healthy children.

I received news that a new friend will be moving away. She's very sad to be leaving the support and friendships she's developed over the past few years and wonders what it will be like to be without these. I see that it's such a blessing to live in an area where I'm close to my family, extended family, and many wonderful friends.

This afternoon, a boy in Nicholas' school was lying in the snow and crying after being bullied by some older boys. After spending a great part of the day being frustrated over the way he was treated, I've come so see what a blessing it was to have been able to comfort this boy and help him get back on his way home.

I received a phone call this afternoon that Nicholas' school bus was involved in an accident and that none of the children were injured. I hugged Nicholas close and realized just how happy I was that I'd picked him up from school today.

This evening, I was chided for still breastfeeding Lily. I was annoyed by this until I realized that it's the first negative comment I've received in the 17 months I've been breastfeeding her. It's been a huge blessing to have found so much support for my decision to breastfeed a toddler.

There are so many moments during the day when I have the choice of how to react to the world around me. I can become offended over every bump, or I can gloss over the parts I don't enjoy. I can spend my energy complaining about the injustices in the world or I can focus on each small joy. Although I do get caught up in negativity sometimes I know that life is too short, blessings are all around, and I like being happy.

Childhood

I came across the following quote this morning and found it to be very thought-provoking.

"When we adults think of children, there is a simple truth which we ignore: childhood is not preparation for life, childhood is life. A child isn't getting ready to live - a child is living. The child is constantly confronted with the nagging question, "What are you going to be?" Courageous would be the youngster who, looking the adult squarely in the face, would say, "I'm not going to be anything; I already am." We adults would be shocked by such an insolent remark for we have forgotten, if indeed we ever knew, that a child is an active participating and contributing member of society from the time he is born. Childhood isn't a time when he is molded into a human who will then live life; he is a human who is living life. No child will miss the zest and joy of living unless these are denied him by adults who have convinced themselves that childhood is a period of preparation.
How much heartache we would save ourselves if we would recognize the child as a partner with adults in the process of living, rather than always viewing him as an apprentice. How much we would teach each other...adults with the experience and children with the freshness. How full both our lives could be. A little child may not lead us, but at least we ought to discuss the trip with him for, after all, life is his and her journey, too." - Professor T. Ripaldi


I really enjoy how this quote encourages us to totally shift our perspective on children and childhood. In our society, we play Mozart to our embryos, enroll our preschool children in enrichment classes, and spend Grade 1 preparing for post-secondary opportunities.

While I scoff at the idea of doing flashcards with infants who can't even hold their heads up yet, I recognize that I've been guilty of pushing my children into growth rather than enjoying the process of unfolding and experiencing. Now that I've had my second child and I've seen how quickly the early years spin by, I find myself relishing the moment more often than I did. I'm constantly amazed at the beauty and joy which children perceive and create.

How differently would we live life if we really respected the value of childhood, if we saw its value for the experience it provides rather than the future it leads up to?

A tea party of a different sort

Lily's baby bathtub is sitting in the middle of my kitchen and the water in it is a murky yellow. No, she didn't have and "incident" in the tub. The water is filled with chamomille tea and oatmeal. There's a teapot and a couple of little cups as well. Yes, the kids really did drink her bath water. Lily's skin took a serious turn for the worse today and the tea/oatmeal bath was an effort to soothe her itchy, oozing back.

For those not in the know, Lily has been suffering from eczema for about a month and a half. It's been all over her entire body except for her head, hands, and feet. We've eliminated wheat, dairy, sugar, red meat, citrus, and tomatos from her diet. Since her consultation with our ND, she's been taking Sulfur (a homeopathic remedy), Astragalus (a herb), acidophilus, fish oil, and flax oil. I've also switched laundry detergent three times (each of them more and more mild).

Earlier this afternoon as I picked Lily up, I realized that what I thought were stains on her undershirt were actually wet spots from the open sores on her back. Ugh. It hurts me to see her in this kind of shape and I feel like crying. I'm the Mom so I'm supposed to fix things, aren't I?

Now I'm questioning all sorts of foods she eating and that I'm eating and possibly exposing her to in my milk. We've cut so many things out already that I just don't know what to do next. I really, really hate this. Right now she's got a layer of Polysporin on her lower back and gauze and tape over top. She looks like a burn victim or something.

Oh how the times have changed!

Yesterday morning, I was headed out to run some errands and I met our mail-lady in the driveway. She handed me the usual stack of envelopes as well as a large manilla envelope. My curiosity piqued, I started the car and immediately looked at the interesting package. My heart skipped a beat when I saw that it was from the law firm which handled the purchase of our new home. I figured it was yet another request to re-sign papers or some other unforseen hoop we'd need to jump through.

Fortunately, it was none of the above. I found instead a pile of papers relating to the final details of the purchase as well as a cheque. It turns out that the money which the law firm had held in trust for us was more than their fees had ended up adding up to. So, there attached to the cover letter was a cheque written out to Liam and I in the sum of $340 (Ok, it was actually something like $339.60 but $340 has a much nicer ring to it). Sweet. Who knew that you could actually GET money from lawyers?

The portion of my brain inhabited by the perma-child deep within me immediately burst out with "Wicked! We can go on a shopping spree and blow all of it since it wasn't money we were expecting anyhow!". Then (un)fortunately the adult me wised up to the situation and brought up the mature arguments such as "Weren't you just saying how nice it is having a bit of extra money sitting in the bank account at the end of the pay period?" and "Aren't you all into this non-materialistic stuff now?".

As things turned out, Liam and I did agree to spend some of the money. He will buy the Sandy Foster cd he's been pining after as of late. I will buy a YES nursing bra, a Diva Cup (guys, don't click if you really don't want to know), and some cloth shopping bags.

I also went on a shopping trip to Planet Organic today and was able to pick up some nice stuff. I splurged and bought a 1L bottle of organic maple syrup. Since it's pretty much the only sweetener I use in my baking and oatmeal, those little bottles just don't seem to last. I also got some organic extra virgin olive oil in a funky square bottle and some organic sesame oil. I was so sad when I ran out of sesame oil a couple of weeks ago since the tofu in my miso soup doesn't seem to have the same flavour or texture with olive oil. I also picked up a variety of items from the bulk section including a new kind of rice, quick-cook oats (so I can actually cook Nick's oatmeal before he gets on the bus for school), carob almonds (like chocolate almonds only more coacoa-y), and some nifty little things called energy squares (which taste incredibly like Eatmore's).

As I did a little happy dance over my bags of groceries at home, I realized just how much I've changed in the past few years. There was a time when groceries were taken for granted and I had no idea as to the cost of food. These days, I'm the one paying at the checkout so I realize just how little our dollars can be stretched. I'm also finding great satisfaction in cooking and experimenting with new dishes. Instead of opening the fridge or pantry and seeing a bunch of food to be eaten, I now see the little dollar signs attached to each item as well as the possibilities for the vareity of dishes I could create with each.

Voluntary Simplicity

Yesterday, I attended a workshop on voluntary simplicity which was being offered at our church by a few of the parishioners. There was a retreat a few months back, but being the mom of two little kids (one of whom still nurses several times each night) doesn't lend itself well to that type of activity. I was thrilled when the workshop was announced, both because it was something I could manage and also because it was free. I'm big into free things.

My idea going into this workshop was that I would learn ways of being fulfilled with less material goods and possibly find some ways of reducing excess spending. We're pretty good about keeping costs to a minimum, but living on one income means there's never a lot of extra money hanging about in our bank account.

I ended up learning much more than I would have thought. I learned how wrapped up we as a society are in material things and how much the media influences us to believe that spending money will put us in a better place. I was also given the chance to ponder how having, buying, and focusing on stuff draws my focus away from important things such as God and my family. I also found myself really thinking about the impact that my living has on our planet and how simple choices which I make can have very large results.

Since beginning my elimination diet at the start of this month, I've found myself thinking differently about the types and quality of foods I'm putting into my body and the bodies of my family. It seems like a very natural progression to go from healthier eating to healthier living.

I've also been focusing during the past year or so on streamlining my life and focusing on thoughts, people, and activities which enhance my life. It's so easy to get bogged down in scattered activities and negative patterns of thinking, and there's so much I want to do with my life. By the time I've worked through all my responsibilities as a wife and mother my time is very limited and I want to get the most out of my spare time and energy.

In all, I suppose I'm feeling drawn toward making more conscious choices about life which make me feel good about myself and satisfied with my actions.

Ah crap.

So red bell peppers and thumbs are completely different things. My knife and I learned this lesson together tonight.

In the last step of my mad-dash supper creation, I mis-judged the distance from the knife to my thumb and chopped myself instead of the pesky red pepper. I gave Liam the job of inspecting my thumb because I was too scared of what I'd see. His professional prognosis was "It's pretty bad" and he gave me a tissue to sop up the blood.

Ten minutes later, I pulled the tissue off only to have blood start oozing out at an alarming rate. On went a wad of toilet paper. As an aside, toilet paper is a BAD choice for dressing a wound. Fifteen minutes later when I removed the toilet paper I found that it was stuck and I accidentally opened the cut up a bit more. And I bled more. Of course.

At this point, Liam picked up the Lil and announced that he was taking me in to the ER for stitches. I managed to hold him off by phoning the Health Link to ask what the criterea is for getting stitches. By the time I got off the phone, the bleeding had stopped, the throbbing had mostly subsided, and I was fairly confident that I could forgo the two hours of waiting to see a doctor at the Medicentre. I contemplated following the Health Link nurse's advice to go in for a tetanus shot, but between Liam, my Dad, and I we figured that my clean and shiny knife posed little threat.

My lesson for the night is: chop more slowly, watch more closely. In the end, at least I didn't mess myself up as badly as Liam did. I'd be miffed if I lost the ability to make fun of his knife handling skills.

And on that note, off I go to watch TV. Liam has just put "Snakes on a Plane" on. I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared...

Heh

These made me snicker.

Happy Happy Dance

As of today, I'm down 9 lbs in 14 days. Who'd have thunk that cutting out all the crappy food in my diet and not snacking for emotional reasons would result in weight loss? (I should amend that statement. I do still occasionally eat when I'm not really hungry, but it loses its charm pretty quickly when you're chewing on carrot sticks and pieces of apple.) I'm sure a certain amount of the lost weight was fluid, but it feels great nonetheless. This is the lightest I've been since Lily was born. I think I'll throw myself a party when I'm down another 30.

The transition with changing Lily's diet has gone pretty smoothly, mostly because she's too young to really know the difference. We've had the occasional bumps in the road such as when she saw the yogurt in the fridge this morning and when she saw Nick eating a ham and cheese sandwich the other day. There's really nothing quite as sad as a toddler moaning "Cheeeeese. Cheeeese." especially when it comes out sounding more like "Deeee, deee!". The really nasty patches of eczema on her elbows and knees have faded quite a bit and now look more like dry skin than the red, raw patches they were a week ago. I worried a bit at first about what she would eat but she actually seems to be eating more now that I've cut dairy, wheat, and sugar from her diet. She's been devouring big bowls of oatmeal and kamut, entire boiled eggs and kiwis, and soups and casseroles of all sorts. She's also been nursing more lately and actually drinking lots of milk rather than wiggling around constantly like she used to. I get the feeling that a growth spurt is in the making.

I bought groceries today and it was a nice experience outside of the episode with Lily running wild in the bulk section (here's a tidbit for other parents: the bulk section is NOT the place to finally cave and let your toddler out of the shopping cart). I loaded up the cart with produce of all kinds, chicken, and various foods from the "natural" sections scattered throughout Save On Foods. I feel better about the foods that I'm buying and cooking since I know they're nourishing my family instead of filling us up and adding to my previously-expanding waistline.

Foodi-ful goodnesses

I feel the need to update since the comments on my last entry have been so lively. I'm starting to get jealous.

I'm now on day 11 of my elimination diet and I'm doing really well. In my first week I lost five pounds between the change in diet and having the flu. I'm sure I'm down a couple more by now judging by how my clothes are fitting and how well I'm feeling. Eating so much more healthily is actually really nice in a subtle sort of way.

I've also dragged my poor innocent baby down into the mud with me. About a month or so ago, she began to develop some patches of eczema in the creases of her elbows and knees. The patches are now red and angry-looking and new spots have shown up all over her arms, legs, and torso. At the suggestion of my ND, she's now completely off of dairy, wheat, sugar, and red meat (the alcohol and caffeine are kind of a given). I'm also shoving flax oil in her once a day and smearing various lotions all over her whenever I can pin her down long enough. It's starting to look a bit better after three days of this.

Watch for updates. I'm sure I'll have found a reason to overhaul Nick and Liam's diets before long. Mwahaha!!!

Property laws according to kids

If I like it, it's mine.
If it's in my hand, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
If I think it's mine, it's mine.
If I saw it first, it's mine.
If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
If it's broken, it's yours!


(Anybody else going crazy because of siblings picking on each other??)

Baby ode

Baby,
Oh Baby,
When your Mom
Drags her sick butt off the couch
To tidy,
Dumping
The bin of toques
Is not
An appropriate sign of your appreciation.

Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Last night, I did my New Year's Eve reflecting from my bed. It was 9 pm and I was cozied up in bed between both kids and getting ready to fall asleep. You see, we ditched the party at James and Janine's in order to take the kids to the early fireworks in Sherwood Park. Then we ditched the fireworks in order to keep the sickly children from completely dying. Then I decided that going to bed as soon as I got Lily to sleep would be my best bet at shaking the early tinglings of their germ getting to me.

So, there I was going to bed at 9 on New Year's Eve while my friends were out at various parties and my husband was downstairs writing. I started thinking about how past New Years Eve's (which I will now type as NYE because I'm lazy) have set the tone for the coming year. I decided that instead of feeling sorry for myself for missing out on NYE I would instead appreciate stepping into the new year in a manner which was respectful and nurturing to my body. It fits well since today is the first day of my elimination diet and I've decided that it's time I really start taking better care of myself in general. You'd think that as a holistic health practitioner I'd be doing a better job than this, but you'd be wrong.

Looking back at past NYE and the way they have fit in with the following year...

2005: We took the kids out to the fireworks then once they were in bed Liam and I played Monopoly and had a really good time. The past year has been one filled with so many wonderful family moments and our marriage has grown in many ways.

2004: We went to a house party and announced our pregnancy to our friends. I was exhausted (thank you first trimester hormones!) and we went home shortly after the countdown. This one's pretty self-explanatory, but the year was consumed by my pregnancy and Lily's birth. I spent a lot of time tired and sleeping.

2003: We went to a party at The Party House. I remember being annoyed with Liam about something and not really enjoying my evening at all. In the coming year, I learned a lot of lessons about relationships, and the first few months of marriage taught me more than I could have imagined.

2002: The infamous party at The Party House where I met (or re-met if you want to get technical) Liam. I stayed up until 4 am talking to him and spent the next day exhausted and trying to think of a reason to call him. The following year was filled with falling in love and getting way way WAY too little sleep.

For the love of Pete!

Nick got sick. Lily got sick. Lily hasn't slept for longer than 10 minutes at a time in two nights and two days. We spent two hours at the Medicentre waiting to see a doctor and now we know that at least she doesn't have an ear infection.

In some strange way, this page makes all the hours of lost sleep a little bit less painful.

'Twas the week before Christmas

I figured I'd better pop on and post a bit of an update. I've been lacking in the inspiration department as of late and next week looks like it might be a busy one, so here goes nothing!

Nicholas came home from school on Thursday complaining that he ate too much at his class Christmas party. He suffered through supper then spent almost an hour rolling around on the floor moaning. Just before bed he made a sudden dash to the bathroom where he proceeded to throw up his entire supper and probably some of the junk from the party. Yum. I managed to get splashed on the leg. Eeew. He then perked up, ate some toast, and went to bed. I figured all was well but right after midnight he woke up and threw up all over Lily's bedspread. Believe me, at 1 am you really don't want to be dealing with a blanket covered in vomit and a baby who has decided that she should wake up for the excitement. I finally got Lil back to sleep around 2. I kept Nick home from school the next day, which I really didn't think was a big deal since it was only a half day anyhow.

And then there's Liam. For anyone who's not familiar with Liam's back, it's a pretty tempermental kind of thing. He put it out a bit a couple of months ago then he fell last week and tweaked it again. On Thursday (right around the time of Nick's rolling around on the floor with a bellyache) Liam tried to get up from playing with Lily and put his back out. Since then, he's been spending quality time with a bag of snow and limping around in a Quasimodo-esque manner. He's been to the chiropractor twice in two days and goes back again early next week.

As for Lily, she's truly turning into a toddler. Her range of words and signs is increasing rapidly and, of course, that means that she now knows the word "no". It usually comes out as "no no no no" which is quite cute unless I'm trying to get her to eat something or get dressed. On the topic of eating, she's decided that all food going into her mouth has to come from her own hand or on a spoon in her hand. It's been a bit of a struggle but I'm amazed at how quickly she's mastering it. She's been so excited to be feeding herself that she's probably eating twice the amount of solids she was a few weeks ago and she's still nursing as much as ever. I see a sudden growth spurt in her near future.

And then there's me. I'm muddling along as usual. I've been in a bit of a funk as of late but I'm feeling better the past few days. I'm looking forward to Liam being home for the next 10 days and also seeing friends who are in from out of town. My biggest wish for this Christmas break is to get some extra sleep as I've been really missing out on that lately.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Party like a party

Our busy busy weekend is over, and we're all alive if a little worse for wear.

On Thursday, I visited a friend, had dinner with my parents, and went to my LLL meeting. By the end of the day, I had spent 6 hours supervising Lily in non-child-proofed environments. Anyone who's been a parent to a 15-month-old can figure out how that went.

Friday was the Intuit children's Christmas party. After a very exhasperating drive all the way to Castledowns, we found ourselves in a room packed with Mr. and Mrs. Claus, a plethora of greasy finger foods, two children's performers from Australia, and a swarm of little people. Nick was thrilled with the performers and the craft tables while Lily took full advantage of all the space to run...and run...and run.

Saturday was our Christmas party at home. I've never seen so many people in our home. I think we counted something like 20 adults plus 7 children and 2 tiny babies. Despite the very full state of our home and the ongoing battles between Nicholas and Preston, the evening was a whole lot of fun. We were able to share in a great evening with a bunch of friends and we even found out about a new baby on the way.

And then on Sunday we went to...yet another Christmas party! This one was out at the community hall where my parents live. It's been decided that since I lived there for 12 years I'm an honourary community member. Liam and I were in charge of the craft and toy area as well as the singing of the Christmas carols. We only lost one toy to a minor casualty (which Liam may be able to repair) and the singing was greatly aided by our Piano Lady (I'm afraid I never actually found out her name). Liam's voice gave out on the second last song, which was quite entertaining but didn't keep his little groupies from hovering. Yes, Liam had teenage girls for groupies. They looked quite disappointed when I told them we lived in Millwoods.

The unfortunate incident of the evening happened shortly before we left for home. Lily was standing up on a riser type thing and took a head-first tumble off of it onto the hard tile floor. She had a giant blue indent on her head instantly and spent a while screaming both because it hurt and because her idiot mother kept trying to put cold compresses on it. I must admit that I was close to tears at one point. It looked so nasty and it's the first real injury she's ever had. I did comfort myself with the thought that by this age Nicholas had taken at least a dozen spills of this size. Today, she's got a big blue splotch on her forehead but I'm very happy to say that it's not nearly as nasty as I thought it would be.

So now we've got two weeks left until Christmas and no more Christmas parties planned. Whew! I've got a few more items to shop for and a whole bunch of things to wrap. Oh, and one gift to mail out to my brother and his family once I return to Winners so they can remove the security tag which was left on Trina's outfit. I'm looking forward to a semi-quiet week before we jump into Christmas concerts and Christmas break!

Le sigh

It's been 18 days and 5 hours since I've had a coffee. Give or take a few minutes. Somehow I'm still alive, though the week-long headache at the beginning tried to prove me otherwise.

I'd been wondering as of late if drinking coffee was at least in part leading to my digestive woes and it turns out that I was right. Damnit. I've been feeling gobs better and my energy level is pretty much back where it should be. It's actually kind of funny that the drink I was guzzling to perk me up was really wearing me out in the big picture.

So now, I'm mostly back to normal. In an effort to get all the way back there I went to see a Naturopathic Doctor yesterday ( Jackie Yurko for anyone interested). As per her thoughts, come January I'm going to go three weeks without dairy, wheat, refined sugar or red meat. After that I'll re-introduce the foods one at a time to see if they're causing me problems.

Part of me is excited to have some concrete plan on how to improve my health, but another part of me is freaking out. I love foods, especially my chocolate and breads. Food is a huge comfort for me (hence the inability to lose the 35 lbs I'm so angry at) and I know I'm going to have to change my way of coping. Ugh.

Someone hold my hand?

New news

I finally got around to updating my links. You can now go directly to Jo's new blog without doing the roudabout through the old one. Yay! I also added in my 101 goals blog and a link to Karen's blog.

Also, in case anyone doubted it, I now have further proof that Lily is Liam's babe. Ready for it? She...talks in her sleep and has an unhealthy fascination with Tostitos. Just wait til she can sit at the computer!

A tragedy 17 years in the making

In 1989, my cousin Duncan MacPherson went missing. As a 9-year-old, I was almost oblivious to the event and my only clear recollection of it is when my aunt and uncle spent some time at our house during what I'm assuming was their journey to Austria to look for their missing son.

As I grew up, the story of my missing cousin was just a part of life. My aunt and uncle spent numerous summers searching for him and my father once visited a psychic for some sort of lead. I only had a few wispy memories of Duncan and as time went on him being missing was just the way things were in my mind.

In 2003, Duncan's body was discovered on a glacier on a ski hill. I thought that my family would finally have some closure now that he was found and his fate detrmined. Now, though, there is concern that he did not die as the result of an accident but rather as the result of being run over by machinery grooming the hill. It's a gruesome and horrible thing to imagine.

The Fifth Estate recently aired this story (which can be seen here) . There is a link in the sidebar on the right to see the full broadcast.

Tonight as I watched this entire story summed up in a 40-minute broadcast I saw things in a new light. Now that I am a mother, I can look at the pain in my aunt's face and get an inkling of what my life would be like should my son go missing. I had never before seen pictures of Duncan's body or the CAT scan taken of his remains, and seeing these things finally made this tragedy real to me.

It's heartbreaking to think of the countless hours of fear, worry, and desperation my aunt and uncle suffered through. You'll have to excuse me if I hold my kids extra close tonight.

Ho-hum

Liam has been gone for four hours so far out of a four day business trip. Yes, I'm a total sap and I miss him already. As the Lil and I have been puttering around the house this morning I've had some thoughts.

I must have married the right guy if him being gone leaves me feeling lonely so soon. Yes, I'm used to him being gone all day, but knowing I won't see him tonight leaves me lonely.

I would not at all do well in a marriage where my husband travelled frequently. My favourite time of day is 5:30 because it's when Liam gets home.

My home is just a house with half the family gone (Nick is at my parents' house right now). Our home is made up of the people who live in it, no matter how much I love my super-cool kitchen.

Like only a baby can

Warning: the following entry contains nudity (no, it's not Liam)





What, you ask, could be cuter than a baby?

A naked baby.

What, then, could be cuter than a naked baby?

A naked baby with a tea cozy on her head.



Ok. Could there possibly be anything in the world cuter than a naked baby with a tea cozy on her head?

Yes. The naked baby with the tea cozy on her head could carry around a container of toys like it's a purse.