Snapshot

One of my favourite questions (actual favourite, not "favourite" favourite) people ask about unschoolers is what a typical day looks like, partly because it's fun to reflect and partly because I love hearing about how others go about their lives. Our days have a typical rhythm, but there's no set standard of what a normal weekday is around here. Sometimes we're out of the house all day, sometimes we're home for days on end. I make an effort to match our activity level to our needs and energy levels, and so no two days really look the same.

A while back I wrote a post about what a day in our life looked like, and today I thought it would be fun to do the same. And so I give you, a Thursday with the Johnstones.

6:30 am: I wake up to the sound of Bear yawn-whining his desperate need to eat, or pee, or both. I sneak out of bed, tucking the blanket back around Ollie so she hopefully sleeps a bit longer. I set Bear up with food in the dog run and set myself up with coffee and my laptop. When the girls wake they come downstairs for Netflix. Nick wakes and hangs out upstairs with his laptop.

9 am: I process jars of apple sauce. The kids and I picked the apples at a friend's house the other day and cooked them in the slowcooker yesterday. This is the first canning I've done this year and I need to use my friend Google to remind me of how long the jars need to sit in the boiling water. This is usually the time when I get in my daily workout, but I'm in a small funk this week and not quite feeling it today.

Playing the jars like small drums.

Getting all hot and steamy

10 am: Breakfast! Homemade granola and homemade apple sauce. So much yum.

10:30 am: Breakfast table is cleared, so Ollie and I get chopping more apples for the next batch of apple sauce. Unlike yesterday, she manages not to slice herself open with her knife. Nick sprawls on the couch with a book. Lily experiments and creates a Rainbow Loom outfit for one of the dolls.

Choppy choppy choppy

All dolled up with cinnamon and honey

The Rainbow Loom Baby Bikini

11am: I fill jars with zucchini and pickling brine, then process them. Nick alternates between being in his room and coming downstairs to show us the magic tricks he's just taught himself. Lily and Ollie work on some Rainbow Loom charms and then some paintings based on a craft book we took out of the library.

Sisterly paining. Let's not discuss the doll, because I just don't know.

1 pm: Lunch. Lily amazes me with her mad food skills and packs away four bowls of mac and cheese.

1:30 pm: My friend, coffee o'clock. I get a few minutes to read my book and then I read some children's poems out loud to the kids until they're bored of listening to me.

2:30 pm: I process four more jars of apple sauce from the apples Ollie and I cut up this morning. The kids make some paper cut out penguins from the craft book. Lily reads some books to Ollie on the couch. Nick collects plants to continue building a braided rope he's been working on this week.

Rope braid. 

3 pm: We all go down to the bottom garden and I do some weeding. I feel guilt over how neglected this new garden has been all summer and I wonder if I'll actually get any squash from it. We check the potato plants for potatoes but don't find any big enough to dig up yet. The girls play on driveway gate. Nick goes bushwhacking and brings me back nettle for tea.

Jack, hunting for untold treasures in the potato patch.

The gate game. I think the goal is to hurt your sister without your mom catching you. Or something.

4 pm: We run into our next door neighbour as she's taking her garbage out. My kids help her toddler feed carrots to the horse. Our neighbour invites us over and we hang out and drink iced tea.

5 pm: Ollie has a massive meltdown about leaving neighbours to come home. Much crying. Much trying to run away from me. Much not fun.

5:30 pm: Ollie is mostly done freaking out, mainly thanks to Nick. I'd jokingly offered him a nickel to cheer her up and he took me up on it. And then came to collect his nickel. The kids play some strange game involving the stairs and the couch cushions while I cook supper. In the midst of the chaos, I get the news that a dog we'd fostered earlier this summer was put down today. I take some time to process and then talk to the kids about it.

6 pm: Liam is home and we eat supper. Yay Liam! Yay supper!

7 pm: We pack up kids and dogs for a walk. We stop for the mail and walk the loop of the subdivision. Ollie meets a woman collecting her mail from the other mailbox and they become instant friends. We notice that a piece of mail delivered to us belongs to aforementioned neighbour. Children gleefully offer to deliver it to her. They're sent up the long driveway with instructions to return quickly because it's late. They don't return quickly. When Ollie finally gets in the house she presents me with her bike helmet holding a bunch of freshly picked rosehips.

Ollie takes getting the mail very seriously.

Cool teenagers don't need shoes on the road.

Extra awesome points because they fed grass to horses at two houses on our walk.

8 pm: Snack time. Shower time for the girls. Probably should be shower time for Nick as well but it's late. Much loudness. Much straying away from actually getting to bed because there are suddenly all these exciting things that need to be done right now. Nick comes down to say goodnight and promptly acts like my kiss on his cheek will actually kill him.

9:30 pm: The children are all asleep. The cat scratches at the door to come inside, then at the kitchen cupboard to have her food dish refilled. I find myself an evening snack and work on updating my food co-op order for next week's groceries.

And that there is as typical as a typical day gets in our life. We do some things together, and some things on our own. The kids learn all day through exploring things that have captured their attention and imagination. We eat, we work, we fight, we laugh. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Five In A Row with Lentil

Today was a day of sniffly tired people and cancelled plans with friends. In the end we had a really nice cosy at-home day, which is exactly what we needed.

One of the things we did today was to start our first Five In A Row (FIAR) book. Liam downloaded Lentil by Robert McCloskey off of Open Library for us and put it on my Kobo. The girls and I snuggled up on the couch and took a read through. It felt extremely odd to be reading a children's picture book off of a Kobo, especially when a few pages in things started looking like this:

And this:

Fortunately not all of the pages were funky, and we were able to read the book (although I did have to use my imagination a few times to decipher gobbledy gook).

In the end, it really did feel like something was missing by not having the physical book and the full-page pictures. We're going to try pulling the file up on a different device for upcoming days with Lentil, but after this book I know we'll be striving to work only with the books we can get paper copies of.

The book was enjoyable and Ollie, of course, had a string of questions about the story and the vocabulary as I read. When we finished the book I read a section from the FIAR text. The other day when I was mapping things out I'd flagged the section on the sense of taste because we have both lemons and dark chocolate in the house right now.

For each of the kids, I made up a plate with a lemon wedge, dark chocolate, salt, and sugar to exemplify the tastes of sour, bitter, salty, and sweet. They were most excited about the chocolate (because Mom doesn't usually share her hidden stash) and enjoyed going back and forth between the flavours. 

Ollie definitely learned the vocabulary word "pucker".

Once they'd had a chance to go through each of the foods and exclaim such things as "Salt is salty!" (thanks, Lily), the kids started to mix and match. I think my personal favourite was when they were dunking their lemon wedges in the salt. Yum yum! Goofballs.

All in all, today was a nice intro to FIAR for us. It was a simple enough experience that I had an easy time adding it to a day where I wasn't feeling great. It also lent itself well to both Ollie who was in it from start to finish to the older kids who drifted in and out as they were interested. Hopefully we'll get an opportunity to get back into it tomorrow!

Mommy Mulligan

Some days, I'm the kind of mom who is patient and engaging. Yesterday was not one of those days. I was grumpy and impatient and extremely short tempered. I went to bed early last night and I'm blogging a picture of our family where we look as loving as I want to act today. And go.

Run away with me

July 2014 Spartan with Liam. So. Much. Mud.

I like to run. Most of the time I do, anyhow. Sometimes I despise running. But let's talk about the times I like running.

I started running during high school, I think as a combined result of having done running for rugby training and having read the book Deerskin which features a character running long distances. 

When I first got started running I would trek around my parents' subdivision with no special equipment or any real idea of what I was doing. I didn't know how to track my distances (where were all those smart phones in the 90's?!) and I'd never heard of interval training. Sometimes I'd take my chunky bulky Walkman so I could listen to my radio mix tape. 

Over the next years, I ran on and off without any clear intentions or goals. I knew that I took delight in being able push myself and that my body felt good when I got up off my butt. In 2002, a fellow classmate and I decided to take on a running training program as part of a self-care project for one of our classes with the end goal of running a half marathon. Six months after getting serious about my running, I completed my first half marathon in a time of 2:13. I lost a few toenails and suffered heat stroke, and I absolutely loved it.

A few years later, my friend Vanessa talked me into running another half marathon with her. We navigated the waters with the support of a local Running Room clinic and in 16 weeks we ran our race. This time around, Vanessa and I crossed the finish line with a time of 2:21.

My third long race I trained for and ran was another half marathon just last year. I talked my friends into entering the world of half marathons with me, and we trained through the summer and autumn for a late October race. My finish time this go around was 2:22.

Last year I also branched out a bit and also completed my first triathlon. It was a nice short race to get introduced to the sport, and I really enjoyed the new mental and physical training aspects that were brought up by adding the biking and swimming into the race.

Earlier this year, I'd given serious consideration to tackling a full on marathon this year, which coincidentally would have been today. I was feeling strong heading into the early spring since I had an entire winter of solid crosstraining under my belt and I'd run the half marathon distance on a whim during a regular weekend run. For a few reasons, including my limited time to work out away from the kids and my uncertainty as to how I'd juggle the training hours during our summer travel, I decided that this wouldn't be my year to take on this goal. I know that running a full marathon is definitely a personal goal and I think I'll more easily be able to handle tackling it when the kids are older.

As for my actual running goals for this year...I still don't know. Other than the Spartan race which we completed in July I haven't signed up for anything. My friends and I have been looking at some possible races and we've started getting some weekend runs in together again, so hopefully we'll pin something down and work towards it soon!

Book learning

With the coming school year nearing, I've been collecting books and curriculum for the kids that I think they'll enjoy. Without really intending to, a couple of books turned into a few more and now all of a sudden I have four cardboard boxes in my livingroom and my coffee table is completely lost under a sea of books.

Between some books I bought from friends, a couple of Kijiji ads for curriculum, and the local library booksale it didn't take long for things to add up. We've got a mix of curriculum, reference books, fiction readers, and picture books. My goal this week is to cull our bookshelves (blasphemy, I know!) and rearrange the different areas in the house where we keep books so that everything gets a home.

I'm excited to dig into the curriculum that I found for the kids, because I think I've picked up some things that will give each kid a chance to have something happening at their level while giving lots of opportunity for everyone sitting in on things. My goal is to offer more structured learning opportunities for the kids now that everyone is old enough for me to properly divide my attention and now that Nick is on the cusp of his high school years.

Starting from the bottom up, I have a copy of Five In a Row for Ollie. It's a really neat looking system based on a selection of some classic children's books. The format is to read the book with your child and then do activities which draw from the themes in the books and touch on social studies, art, science, and other areas. I've got a copy of the first book we'll start with, Lentil by Robert Mccloskey, as well as some notes jotted down about which activities we'll use from the book. I've also found a few (ok, maybe more than a few) printables and further activities on Pinterest we can also use.

Along the same lines, I also picked up a copy of Beyond Five In a Row. This text is the same format as the previous one, but aimed at an older age bracket. Depending on how things go, I see this as either being something both girls work on with me this year or else something we set aside for upcoming years.

For my middle Lily, I found some Konos books. I purchased both volumes one and two (for a small fraction of the full retail price, yay!) which gives us a large amount of info to peruse. These books are set up so that the student is presented information broken down into themes and topics. These are covered through family read-alouds, individual reading, writing assignments, and various activities. From what I've seen of it so far, I appreciate both the guidance in choosing materials and the flexibility it offers. The suggested schedule has the student covering about 10 hours of work each week, but we'll definitely be taking a much slower pace than that. I can see this curriculum drawing all three kids into its activities.

For my oh-so-grown-up Nick, I found some physical science books from BJU press to fit in with Nick's area of interest. I've taken a read through some of the teacher manual to get a feel for the material and to see how we would approach things. In the opening chapter, there is an emphasis on how belief in God and the pursuit of scientific knowledge go hand in hand (since it's a Christian science textbook and all). I was dismayed to see a line addressing how the earth is thousands of years old because the Bible says it's so, and dismissing the scientific view of the earth being much older than that. I discussed my concern with both Liam and Nick over finding information in this text so early on that I disagree with. I've decided to take it as an opportunity to encourage and support critical thinking (something Nick enjoys!) and we'll see if the rest of the information is a bit more factual. If it ends up being ridiculous we'll just scrap this curriculum and I'll remain grateful that I purchased it used for a good price!

And there you have it, the bookish learning opportunities I plan to build into our year! I'm looking forward to getting things rolling over the next weeks and seeing what the kids do with all of this.

Paper friends

(Full disclosure: major Filofax geekery ahead.)

There's something delightful about pens and paper. Kobos, iPads and laptops are amazing and convenient, but they lack a certain quality that can only really be captured with paper.

Over the years, I've used many different forms of agendas. In junior high, our school gave us each spiral-bound paper agendas customized to our school board. I loved being able to glance at a visual layout of my schedule and the things I needed to do. I think even more, I enjoyed looking back through my year and remembering events.

Since those days of the spiral-bound agendas, I've cycled through different tools. I've printed out blank calendars to keep in binders, I've lugged around gigantic Franklin Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People binders, and I've gone completely digital with my phone. Through it all I've always cherished having a great wall calendar where I could glance at a representation of my life, and which I could set out on the table each month to fill out.

I wasn't entirely dissatisfied with the calendar app I was using on my Android when I came across a picture of someone's Filofax set up and began to mentally salivate. I loved the concept of my own little book where I could keep track of not only my schedule but all sorts of things. The Filofax binders are beautiful and as I investigated further online I learned that their uses were as endless as people's creativity.

After much internal debate about if I was ready to make the leap back away from a virtual calendar, I settled on purchasing a personal sized Filofax in the Malden style. After much anticipation in parcel tracking (and maybe a few hours of perusing Pinterest and YouTube...), my Filofax arrived. I excitedly opened it up...and realized I'd ordered the wrong size. D'oh. Somewhere in my excitement, I'd clicked on a pocket sized Malden (81mm x 120 mm) instead of a personal sized Malden (95mm x 171mm).

Purple pocket Malden

Rather than going through the process of shipping it back and ordering another, I decided to make a go of it with the smaller size even though I was worried the pages would be just too small for fitting everything in. Fast forward a bit, and I admitted defeat over the size, Liam offered to use the Malden as his own organizer, and I purchased a different Filofax that was finally a personal size.

Plum personal Osterley

It's been almost exactly a year since I've been using my personal Osterley Filofax and I love it. Like, love love love it. I can easily keep track of appointments, classes, plans with friends, and other events in the calendar. I write out to do lists in my calendar to keep myself on track with housework, or list the stops I need to make when I'm running errands. I jot down the things I need to have with us when we're heading out the door, which is especially handy on days I've had to bring bags packed for back to back activities and could easily forget something that would throw a wrench into our plans. I also write down my workouts I've completed both to keep track of what I've done and to motivate myself to stick with it.

Because everything is better with paper ninjas and pink glitter tape.

I have different sections where I track things like work notes, grocery shopping lists, to do's, a journal of what/when I planted things for the garden, a food log, my progress with a correspondence course I'm taking, and the books I've read. My Filofax is instrumental to maintaining my sanity when we prepare for travel. I write down everything I can think of that needs to be done and packed, and I transfer these lists onto my calendar days so I can chip away at the work in manageable bits.

A travel week, with meal plans, to do lists, packing lists

For a while I've been contemplating adding a larger Filofax to my life. The A5 is 148mm x 210mm and I love the idea of having all that paper space to spread out on, but I'd shied away because I couldn't see myself carting something so heavy around in my purse (especially since I've actually been using the Malden again as my wallet and only sometimes keeping the Osterley in my purse when I go out).

Recently, I've been feeling the need to build in more structure in our home and work towards growing homeschool portfolios for the kids. And then I realized...my perfect reason for getting an A5! A homeschool/home-specific book would need a lot of space for writing, and I wouldn't have to lug it around everywhere with me.

And so, I'm now happily awaiting the arrival of a Finsbury A5, which is currently hanging out in Miami and really needs to get its butt en route to me. I've been collecting homeschool planner printables and narrowing down which pages I want to include in my planner. A lot of planners include pages that I don't need (like attendance records which are required by some states in the U.S.) or want (like test result records and report cards). My top priorities include an area to jot notes about daily happenings that can be recorded more formally in a portfolio, the actual portfolios, goals, book logs, completed curriculum, and daily routines.

I'm looking forward to getting my hands on my new pretty and seeing what fun things we can do!

A decade in the books

Today Liam and I celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. It's a bit surreal that such a chunk of time has whisked past since the day of our wedding, and yet at the same time Liam is such a central part of who I am that I feel like we've been together always.

I'm grateful for the circumstances that brought us together originally (two people who didn't drink meeting at a bar) and then back together a couple of years later (a last minute party invitation and a car accident that couldn't get in the way).

I'm grateful for how easily Liam and I knew that this was the real deal. We were talking marriage within a couple of weeks of dating and there's been no looking back since then.

I'm grateful for Liam's generous nature, his dedication to our family, and the way he makes me laugh.

I can't imagine a more perfect person to journey through life with. I feel inspired, respected, supported, and nurtured in our relationship, and I hope that I remember to appreciate that each day.

I love you Liam! Happy anniversary!

Rural hijinks

Tonight as I snuggled Ollie to sleep in bed, I heard some noises over the sounds of the calming acoustics from Songza. I heard some peculiar squeaking-type noises coming from the deck side of the house, which were sort of familiar but which I couldn't quite peg.

Once Ollie was off to dreamland I slipped away and decided to go investigate. I went out onto the deck, carefully blocking the dogs inside so they didn't "help" me to find whatever creature was making the noises. (They, of course, kept their noses glued to the screen door in case I needed them.)

From on the deck I could hear scuffling noises and more of the squeaking. I crept around a little bit before deciding that the creature must be under the deck. I tiptoed softly over to the side where the stairs are so I could look under the deck from the lawn but then I stopped. The stairs are open-backed and I've seen too many horror movies to mess around with that shit. (Note, when I say "horror movies" I really probably mean "horror movie" or "half of a horror movie" or "a trailer for a horror movie". I can't hack the scary.)

I came back into the house through the screen door, where I used my feet to block the dogs who had more than picked up on the excitement at this point. I went through the house to the front door, where I repeated the foot conversation with the dogs, and went back outside.

I slowly walked across the section of lawn at the side of the house that passes under the apple trees while the scuffle squeak noises continued. When I came alongside the deck, I crouched down and peered underneath. Confirming my suspicions, I saw the spiky silhouette of a porcupine waddling about under our deck.

Sort of hard to see, but you can see his silhouette between the 2nd and 3rd steps..

I watched, fascinated and snapping pictures, as he made his way in my general direction. I was where the apples were, and judging by the dozens of chewed up apple cores I'd raked up yesterday porcupines have a love on for the sweet juicy things. The porcupine neared the steps and showed no sign of slowing down, so I walked back across the lawn to the front step. Part of me wanted to stay out of his way because I wanted to see him come out, but part of me also wanted to limit my experience with quills to that time I pulled them out of the dog's mouth.

I stood on the cement pad at the front door, camera ready to capture some adorable photos of this porcupine chomping on apples, when I realized the squeaking noises were happening in stereo. There was a big fat porcupine walking up behind me. I nearly crapped my pants. 

In what I'm sure was a totally dignified manner, I scrambled off the cement pad up onto the steps at the door and suppressed the screaming profanities that wanted to jump out of my mouth. There was one kid left in the house who was still trying to fall asleep, after all, and we were just outside her window.

A few seconds later, Mr. Way Too Stealthy For How Huge I Am popped out from beside my van.

Nothing to see here. Just hunting for apples.

As soon as my dogs saw this guy from their post at the window they lost their minds. Really helpful in the getting that last kid to sleep department, thanks guys.

This second porcupine spent some time near the pine tree, eyeing the apples and myself, before deciding he'd just go hang out at the edge of the lawn near the woods. I crept back towards the deck to see where the first guy was, but when the second guy saw that I was going near his squeak buddy he stood up on his hind legs to stare me down. I considered myself chastised and headed back inside.

It was soon too dark to see what kind of antics those two were getting up to out there. I'm going to assume they're having a fullout apple feast and squeak laughing about the jumpy human they chased back into her house.

Food is a celebration

As part of my job as Mom of Children Who Never Sit Still and also as Mom of Teenage Boy, a fair bit of my focus on life is on food. Some weeks I feel as if 90% of my waking time is spent buying, preparing, serving, and cleaning up food. I'm grateful for the food I have access to and can afford, but sometimes I resent the amount of energy keeping our family fed takes up.

And then...there are days like today. Today was a day where food was about more than keeping bellies full. 

All three meals I ate today were in some part grown at our home. Crisp for breakfast has apples and rhubarb that were planted by people who lived here before us. Lunch included kale, green beans, and carrots from the garden. To round it out, supper was made with beets and carrots again from the garden. 

This is my second year growing a big garden and I'm getting a lot of joy from it. During crisp spring afternoons of tucking tiny seeds into pots of dirt I had the chance to dream about the lush green that would again fill the area that had sat as only a snowdrift for months. As the ground thawed, my garden gave me the perfect excuse to spend hours soaking up the sun. Now in late summer, I stand and marvel at all that has sprung up, from the trailing cucumber vines to the corn that towers above my head. Going out to water or pick from my garden feels like visiting a friend.

 When I eat from and feed my family from my garden, I feel like it's a celebration of the blessings at our home. Ollie, especially, is enthusiastic about coming out with me to pick. She'll joyfully bolt outside with a pair of scissors to collect various greens if she hears we're going to have salad, and she takes great delight in picking zucchinis and then cradling and cooing at them as if they're large green babies.

We also picked the apples from one of our trees today. It was probably due to be picked a week or two ago and we lost a lot that fell to the ground and were gnawed on by various friends from the forest, but the mosquitoes were too awful to get out there until today.

The girls and I cleaned off everything except one branch at the top that was out of reach. We used a highly scientific formula that involved a ladder, some buckets, some tree climbing, and a hoe. Ollie was mightily pleased with herself when she scampered up the branches to reach where I couldn't from my ladder.

Garden hoes, not just for the garden.

 I'm grateful for the food and the experiences that our home brings to our family, and I hope that days like this help to secure in my children an awareness of and appreciation for the things that grow in our world.

Autumn aspirations

It's that time of year. I can't read books by sunlight at 10 pm anymore. Our summer trips have come and gone. There are leaves littered across my driveway. The end of summer is near.

Now, I live in Canada so I don't want to think about the inevitable season of snow and frigid temperatures a moment before I have to, but there's something delicious about autumn. Maybe it's the death of the all the evil little mosquitoes. Maybe it's the spread of stationery aisles that have popped up in stores. Maybe it's the approaching fall fashion season where you can do things like wearing layers and cozy hoodies instead of just pulling out whatever will leave you the least soaked in summer sweat.




Whatever the reason - or wondrous combination of reasons - I'm rooting for an autumn that stretches on from August until November. (Hey, an Albertan can dream about a non-white Halloween can't she?)

Partly because of my excitement for fall, and partly because I'm avoiding the mosquito-pocalypse that is my yard right now, I've been getting prepped for our coming school year and getting our home more organized.

For our family, stepping into the school year looks a little bit different than it does for most. Because we homeschool, there's no school supply list and no shopping for back to school clothing. I actually sort of wish there was a homeschool supply list so I could justify buying all sorts of new books and papers each year. Ah, the pretties. (Yes, I do usually buy some new supplies even if we don't strictly need them. But I get to wait until everything is on sale so it's totally justified. Right? Right.)

As an unschooling mom, I also don't do the curriculum prep that many homeschooling parents do. Some families will head into the school year with their curriculum for the year mapped out before them. The part of me that loves organization and is in a serious relationship with her Filofax sort of wishes that our homeschooling approach lent itself to neat charts and predictable progress. I know, though, that my children learn best when they have the space to pursue their interests in the manner and depth that calls to them. (Let me tell you about the 20 or so Garfield books we have checked out from the library right now. I don't actually see my big kids' faces anymore. I see the backs of Garfield books.)

Our home is a very go with the flow type of place, but I'm starting to recognize that my stress level goes down when there is some level of predictability and routine. This year, all three kids are technically school-aged (I'm still a bit in denial about my baby being old enough for kindergarten so let's not dwell on this) so we're well out of the season of "Oh my God I can't plan anything because the baby ate my brain by not letting me sleep and wrecked my plans for the day by pooping on everything I own".

My goal this year is to build in more routine and structure, while delegating more personal and household responsibilities to the kids. All while respecting and supporting their endeavours in their educational journeys and fostering their development into well-rounded individuals. Because, hey, if you're going to pick a goal aim high right? I've got some tools I've started using to help me meet this goal and I'm working on getting some more in place in the upcoming weeks. But that, as they say, is a blog post for another night.

Leading by example

Recently, my parents won an award for their impact on their community. The award came as a surprise to them, after friends and family secretly came together to nominate them for their years of quiet, tireless acts of giving.

It was an eye-opening experience, seeing all of the acts of service all presented together publicly. My parents don't brag about their volunteer work or trot out their accomplishments to build themselves up in front of others. In fact, my mother expressed disbelief that she'd even taken part in as many activities as were listed in her nomination.

Since the night of the award ceremony, I've been thinking of the way my parents live and the way that it's impacted the type of person I've become. My parents have set a consistently generous and humble example in my life and I think it's only recently that I've been able to truly appreciate this.

My parents have taught me that there is pride in hard work. They have taught me to step in when there is work to be done, to lend a hand when there is a person in need. They have taught me that titles like "friend" and "mother" are more significant than titles that can be earned through jobs. They've shown me that while earning a living is important, it's the lives you've impacted not the dollars in your bank account that really count. I've learned from my parents that no person is more or less deserving of respect or caring than anyone else.

I hope that in parenting and living I can make a similar impact on my children, that the home life Liam and I have created enables our kids to pick up on the positive traits we model.

Dusting off this old place

It's that time of year again, when Liam convinces a few of us that it's a good idea to write a blog post a day for 31 days straight. I've joined the Summer Blog Challenge some years and sat it out others, and it looks like I'm jumping in at the last minute this year.

I'm dusting off this long-neglected blog after stepping away from it three years ago. I need to get a few things straightened out and updated around here, but we'll pretend that my blog is like my house: it's might not be as tidy as I'd like, but it's tidy enough to have friends over.

So, uh, hi 2014 blog challenge. Nice to meet you. I hope you're kind to me. I promise I'll try to mostly write some entries that fall within the realm of insightful/interesting/humorous, and I'm very much looking forward to keeping up with all the other bloggers who will be plugging away with me!

A me, in my natural state of family chaos.

Taking a Leap

After much pondering and discussion, I've decided to make a bloggy leap of sorts.

This blog has been a place to stay in touch with friends and to chatter about things on my mind, but over the past months and years I've found the tone to be shifting. As of late, I've been feeling more drawn to writing about the things in my heart and sharing my thoughts on the things I feel passionate about.

The logical path for my writing seems to be to put my time and energy into my previously neglected business blog. I want to accomplish more with my writing than just getting my thoughts out. I also want to devote attention into developing a resource for my business. These two things combined have brought me here.

I've transferred a number of posts from this blog to the Nature Baby Blogging, the ones I feel reflect the ideas and personal background I want to bring to my clients. I'm not entirely sure of the fate of this blog, whether this will be the last ever entry or if I'll pop on here to share more personal things, but if you follow me over here please do join me over at Nature Baby Bloggings.

Here's to appreciating the past and welcoming the potential of the future!
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Post-publishing note: My editor (aka Liam) has just pointed out that I didn't actually include a link to my new blog. Huh. That might be useful. Here it is! Nature Baby Bloggings

The myth of having it all

Tonight, my mind is whirling after some inspiration from a fantastic piece of writing on mothering and feminism, and also from a friend's blog entry about her struggles. Together, these pieces of writing have me pondering the disservice of the "You can have it all!" myth.

Children are told they can be anything they set their minds to. Girls are told they have the freedom to pursue any path they want and that they can excel at everything. They can be a doctor and a mommy, and they can simultaneously be the best doctor and the best mommy because feminism has paved that road for them.

And so, we little girls grew up and we took that message to heart. We excelled in every class (even math and science of course!), we went on to post-secondary institutions to earn fabulous degrees, we secured careers, we planned lavish weddings, we birthed a few kids, we baked cupcakes for the bake sale, and we kept an immaculate home every step of the way. We can have it all! So we will have it all! And we'll do everything to our fullest and perfectly because we expect it of ourselves.

And yet...none of it is all perfect and grand. We have some things that come easily to us and other areas where we struggle. We passionately pursue some areas of our lives but we feel resentful about other areas. We feel less than perfect and we beat ourselves up for our failings. We try to stretch ourselves to be everything all the time but there simply isn't enough of us to go around. We're tired. We're overwhelmed. We're disappointed in all the failings we see when we can't quite be fantastic at everything.

Here's what I think: I think that we can't have it all. I think that everything is out there for use to have, but that we need to choose what we want the most for us, whether it's for today or this year or this lifetime. And then we have to go after that with a dedication and joy that doesn't care about all the other paths.

If we want to delve deep into the attachment parenting world and breastfeed on demand for years and make all our own home cooked foods from scratch and homeschool our children, then so be it. If we want to have wildly successful careers that require 60 hour workweeks which don't leave time for children or for us to be our child's main caretaker at least, then so be it. Pick one and go with it.

If we want to be the spontaneous mother who is forever bringing her kids on adventurous vacations and pursuing in-depth hobbies by moving to some guru's hut for 6 months, then we should. If we want to be the well-planned-out mother who has an intricate carpool schedule to get each of her children to their activities on time as well as racking up at least three volunteer commitments each week, then we should. But we can't carpool from our guru's hut and we shouldn't beat ourselves up for that.

If we want to graduate from high school and delve straight into family life and have all our kids grown and moved out by the time we're 45, we should embrace that. If we want to attend 15 years of post-secondary and then backpack around the world for a few years before settling down, we should joyfully pursue that path. If we want to parent in the boundless energy of our youth or in the tempered wisdom of our more mature age, we should welcome the gifts we have to give our children each day.

We can't have it all and be it all and excel at it all. There are too many tempting valid options in every area of life to take a piece of everything all at once. We can, however, deliberately choose the path we set upon and walk each step with full awareness and joy. And maybe that's having all right there, after all.

My Parenting Essentials

Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Essentials

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared the parenting essentials that they could not live without.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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When I started to think about things I cannot imagine parenting without, my mind went immediately to material things. We have a number of items in our home that I consider important to our daily life. Our Learning Tower sees a lot of use every day, my camera helps me to record our moments, my spiffy Blendtec blender has become a main tool in our kitchen.

And yet...I can imagine parenting without these items. In the end, they're tools. They're tools I cherish and enjoy but in the end they're still just things.

The deeper answer to the question of my parenting essentials are things which cannot be bought or kept.

My husband's companionship is first and foremost what I cannot imagine parenting without. He is the rock on which our family rests. He is my parenting partner, physically when he is home and emotionally when he's at work. He is my main sounding board when I have frustrations or new ideas, and he helps me to find my center and my true direction when I'm scattered. I am blessed beyond words to have him as my children's father.

Outside of my relationship with my husband, I have relationships with other parents. Over the years I've come to realize that these relationships are also essential to my work as a parent. There is the superficial, and yet still deeply necessary, social aspect of friendships. I need people to talk with, to laugh with, to sit quietly with. The value in these friendships go far beyond this, though. In friendships I find resources for information, examples of how to approach situations, a place to express my fears and triumphs, and a place of normalcy when I'm feeling like an outsider with my parenting choices. There is something deeply satisfying about being in the company of a person who truly understands you, and I often feel most understood in the presence of a mom walking a similar path. She can empathize with my frustrations about difficulties and share my joy in the truly good things in a way only another mom can.



In the end, people and relationships are the things I can't imagine parenting without. There are few jobs quite as intense and demanding as parenting, and having a support system in my husband and my friends is more valuable than anything I could ever purchase.

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Not Without Him — The love Starr at Taking Time shares with her husband is the foundation of her parenting.
• I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without B(.)(.)bs — From an uneducated dreamer to a breastfeeding mother of a toddler, nursing has forever changed Kristy at Strings to Things's relationship with her daughter and her outlook on life.
• Raising a Child in the Internet Village — When Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction has a question or concern about parenting, she turns to the Internet. What did parents do before Google?
• Partner in Crime and Parenting — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon can't imagine parenting without her husband's sense of humor - he brings her laughter and love every day.)
• I Make Milk — Patti at Jazzy Mama can't imagine trying to mother her babies without her breasts, but she could do it if she had to.
• New Perspectives Bring New Beginnings — MJ at Wander Wonder Discover, who is a former authoritarian mamma, has gained perspective via parenting.
• Time Out! — Mrs. Green at Little Green Blog explores how time apart can increase your capacity to give unconditionally.
• Unimaginable Without Him — Kristina at heyred designs is celebrating her amazing partner, without whom none of her parenting experience would be possible.
• My Parenting Necessity — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl needs "me time" in order to be the Mama she wants to be.
• Babywearing As a Way of Life — Darcel at The Mahogany Way talks about the benefits of babywearing in everyday life.
• Parenting Partnership — Sometimes Abbie at Farmer's Daughter doesn't appreciate her husband enough, but she definitely couldn't imagine parenting without his help.
• Parenting Essentials — Momma Jorje loves her parenting products, but she needs you even more.
• My Parenting Must-Have: Support — Joella at Fine and Fair wrote a letter to her daughter about the role that support from friends and family plays in her mothering.
• It's More Than Just Hair — Think doing hair is full of fluff? Too girly? Useless? Karli from Curly Hairdo Ideas used to think so too.
• The Minimalist Parent — The parents at Living Peacefully with Children embrace a minimalist perspective when it comes to baby gear. A good sling is all they need.
• Without My Breasts — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama can't imagine parenting without her breasts; here's why.
• Loves Books, Loves People — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante discovers that the library is a perfect fit for her family's needs.
• An Ode to the Maya Wrap — RevMama's next child might be named Maya, because of her fondness for the sling.
• Avoiding the Padded Room — Pecky at Benny and Bex is here to testify that it takes a village to raise a child.
• My parenting essentials, from Tivo to battery-operated monstrosities — Lauren at Hobo Mama presents a list of parenting essentials you didn't even know you needed (and probably don't…).
• Attachment Parenting Through Separation: It Makes It a Little Better — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile talks about how she couldn't survive her separation without attachment parenting and the bond it's afforded her with her 3 year old son.
• Parenting Essentials — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares the principles she used to parent her children from infants to adults.
• My Parenting Essentials — The things that are truly essential to Kim at In Desperate Need of Entertainment aren't things at all.
• I'm No One Without My Sling — How baby carrying is essential to the parenting of Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama.
• I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without... — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about what she needs to raise her children.
• February Carnival of Natural Parenting — Through her experiences over the last five and a half years, Casey at Love What Is has discovered her most important tool for parenting is using her instincts.
• CNP: I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without __________. — The Artsymama discloses the one thing that gave her back control of herself as a parent.
• Laugh Until I Cry — Laughing with her sons keeps Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes connected and grounded.
• I Cannot Imagine Parenting Without — Luschka at Diary of a First Child realizes what the one thing she can't imagine parenting without is, and it turns out it's not a thing after all.
• It Takes Two — Here are a few of the reasons why Jenn at Adventures Down Under cannot imagine parenting without her fabulous husband.
• Stopping to Listen — Though it wasn't easy at first, Knocked Up - Knocked Over cannot imagine parenting her daughter without listening first to what she is telling her.
• The Essence of Parenting — There are many wonderful resources that make life easier for Michelle at the Parent Vortex to parent, but the essence is the relationship between parent and child.
• What I Cannot Live Without — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker considers her computer to be a parenting lifeline.
• True Blessings: White Noise and Grandparents — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment can't live without her white noise machine and the support of her parents.
• The Necessities! — What "stuff" does a natural parent like Lily, aka Witch Mom really need? Not much, it turns out.
• Mama Showed Me — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip writes about how parenting wisdom is passed on by example.
• Ode to the Loo — For Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch, the bathroom is her safe place, where she can take a minute to calm down if she is feeling touched out.
• Go, Mama. Go! — Andrea!!! at Ella-Bean & Co. has been able to integrate her many roles through her get-up-and-go parenting essential, exercise!
• My Other Half — Becky at Old New Legacy realizes what a relief it is to have her husband parent alongside her.
• Grace, Love, and Coffee — MrsH at Fleeting Moments realizes that lifelines can take the form of the profound, or the mundane. Both are ok.
• Supportive Spouse, Check! — There are so many parenting tools and gadgets that are superfluous, but the one essential, for Danielle at born.in.japan, has been her supportive spouse.
• Why I'm a Babywearer — Meredith at Becoming Mamas reflects on the ways babywearing has enhanced her mama baby relationship...and made life easier to boot.
• It's Marvelous Out Here, Kiddo! — Rachael at The Variegated Life can't imagine parenting in the big city without the marvels of Prospect Park to share with her Critter.
• Yes, Thank You — Amy at Anktangle offers tips on how to ask for and accept help, an essential for successful parenting.
• Parenting Essentials Checklist: Mom’s Inner Rebel and Her Kids’ Voices — Olivia at Write About Birth reflects on raising global citizens and saying no to societal norms.
• Eco-Mama Online! — An Eco-Mama living in the mountains of a nature island, Terri at Child of the Nature Isle finds it essential to connect to nature and to connect online.
• Sorry, We Just Sold the Last One — Nev at The Adventures of Lime confesses she missed out the day they handed out patience.
• Laugh — Tashmica at The Mother Flippin' Blog reveals her super power, her talisman agains mean mommy.
• My Priceless Parenting Resource — What do books, a magazine community, my mother and the local playgroup have in common? Lucy at Dreaming Aloud tells us...
  
• The Gift of Shared Time — Tree at Mom Grooves strives to experience the world from her daughter's perspective.
• Follow the Giggles — Dionna at Code Name: Mama can’t live without the sound of her child’s giggles - come watch her video and you’ll agree!
• Can I Mommy Without Boob? — Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama shares her fears about weaning and losing part of that the mother/child bond.

Intention

This morning, CBC shared a story on its website about how the Breastfeeding Coalition of P.E.I is working towards establishing  breastfeeding rooms in various venues across the province. This piece featured a hockey arena which has converted an unused dressing room into a place for moms to nurse. This way moms who don't want to sit on the cold hard benches in the arena have a place to go, and the room even has some toys to occupy siblings.

I'm always happy to see breastfeeding discussed in a positive light in the media. I'm also thrilled to see that efforts have been put into making it easier to meet the needs of babies. Taking care of tiny people is intense and just the thought of someone being accommodating can be a huge blessing to a frazzled parent.

Part of me, though, cringes as the other side of the message that this breastfeeding room might send. Will people think that moms are "supposed" to breastfeed only in these rooms? Will moms who feed their babies in the stands be subjected to pressure to move since there's an entire room dedicated to them? Will this help or hinder the message that breastfeeding is a normal part of parenting?

Mother's rooms or nursing rooms can be extremely useful in some situations. For the mom of a distractible nursling, a quiet place can sometimes serve as the only place where the baby will breastfeed. Or sometimes a quiet room can be what the mom needs in order to catch a few minutes of downtime to recharge. Some moms are not comfortable breastfeeding in public in the early days or at all, and so the availability of a nursing room can allow her to attend events she might otherwise miss out on.In these situations, nursing rooms are a fantastic tool.

On the other hand, there are plenty of moms who would choose not to use the nursing rooms. There are moms who don't want to miss out on the hockey game, moms who are comfortable nursing in front of others, moms who want to remain with their friends or family, or moms whose child who nurses for 30 seconds at a time every 5 minutes. For these moms, staying where they are is what would make them most comfortable and while the option of using a nursing room is nice, there should be no implication that they need to move there before feeding their child.

Whether a mom chooses to  nurse in the nursing room or while watching the hockey game, I would hope that both choices are seen as acceptable. Breastfeeding is often something that we as a society support to in theory but that we have problems showing support for in reality. Showing support for mothers who are breastfeeding in public goes a long way in normalizing breastfeeding and in helping families to meet their breastfeeding goals.

So I welcome these nursing rooms and I think it's great to let moms know that the option to use them exists, but let's also continue to send the message that nursing in public wherever a mom may be is also an equally-acceptable option.

Tragedy

I sit at home and I see only what is in front of me. Dirty dishes. Laughing children. The dog who needs to be fed.

Small things, in the big picture of it all. Big things, in the moment.

I start reading stories of the violence in Egypt. People injured. People killed. People running scared in the streets. Not in some textbook, some snippet in history from that war that one time. Right now, right exactly as I sit here.

Demonstrators in Giza.

How can my world, my moments, my superficial thoughts all go on just like nothing is happening? I can't possibly be that disconnected from living breathing people who are not so different from me.

I remember my friend talking about the world going on despite the tragedy that tore her life apart and how deeply unfair it felt. Is it fair of my life to go on as normal when witnessing another's tragedy?

I can't stop my superficial moments. I can't quiet the children and their needs. I can't push pause indefinitely on my joy and happiness.

But what can I do? I can stop. I can reexamine. I can choose what is truly superficial and not worth my worry. I can choose what is meaningful and place my attention there. I can experience each moment of my life and use it for more than fretting about petty things.

I can love more. I can give more. And I can pray.

Christians standing to protect Muslims as they pray in Egypt today.