Good Morning!!

Well, that'll wake me up quicker than any cup of coffee.

This morning, Liam got up with Fingers around 7 and headed downstairs. A few minutes later, Nicholas woke up and came stumbling into our room. I mumbled "Your Dad is downstairs" and promptly fell back asleep.

Eight o'clock rolls by and Nicholas was back again saying "You need to wake up or you'll miss Tae Kwon Do". Ugh. When I asked where Liam was, Nick said he was asleep on the couch. Cursing the few hours of sleep I'd snuck in, I got up and stumbled to the bathroom.

I pushed the bathroom door open and walked in, noticing that the air seemed kind of warm. I wondered if Liam had turned the heat up as I turned to close the door. Then, all of a sudden, I noticed that there was A NAKED MAN SITTING IN MY BATHTUB!!!

I think it took my brain about five full seconds to realize that it was Liam, by which point I had gasped, stepped back, and almost fallen over.

Now I've made everyone picture Liam naked in the tub and that makes me laugh.

So yeah. Good morning world. Once my heart stops beating at 200 bpm I'll go make some coffee.

Blogger my shiny shiny love

So, to celebrate the ending of February and the entrance of a bright new month, here's a happier entry.

My husband rocks. Yesterday, not only did he go grocery shopping after work but he came home and washed the dishes. All of them. While he washed said dishes, I was not allowed to do anything. When I tried to clean up the living room, I was physically forced to sit down and I had a book shoved into my hands. Yay for reading.

Lily has finally figured out the rolling thing. After that inital roll a few weeks back, she'd kind of forgotten the fluke that flipped her over. Yesterday she seemed to remember what it was all about, though, and was flipping over repeatedly. It's real cute-like, but not during diaper changes. She's also doing the "I've rolled onto my belly and now I'm tired of it but I don't know how to get out" thing as well. Screeching baby is always fun.

On the topic of Lily, she has a new cutest part. As all parents know, the nighttime diaper is very soggy and heavy first thing in the mornings. Lily's morning diapers are heavy enough that they pull down and she shows a bit of butt crack. Hairy man butt crack is nasty, but teenie tiny baby butt crack is so so cute!!

And now on to Nicholas. Last night, he was getting changed into his pj's in my room. It just so happened that Michael Buble's "Feelin good" was on the radio. During the realy swanky part with all the "Bwa wa waa"s, Nick pulled his shirt off and was swinging it around over his head. It was purely unintentional on his part, but really freaking funny. My son, stripper extrordinaire.

Oh, and now something about me. After having abandoned my Leader Applicant work for so long (I think I went a month without touching it), I finally wrote yesterday! I finished one section which translated into two typed pages. Now I just need to proof-read and send it in. Yee-haw!

Adios February!!

For such a short month, February has thoroughly kicked the crap out of me.

In just 28 short days I have:

- attended a weekend Beaver camp
- travelled to Vancouver for 5 days with 2 kids
- dealt with Nicholas getting sick not once but TWICE and Lillian once
- sprained my freaking ankle, which now looks like it's been painted with blue ink
- missed out on more hours of sleep than is healthy (thank you Lily and Fingers)
- taken part in the regular day-to-day parenting of two kids and running of our house

So, February, go away. Let March come in and be kind to me. Somehow, the Magic of March will sweep into my house at midnight tonight and the dishes will be washed, the floors will be vacuumed, and the laundry will be washed, folded, and put away.

Ugh-ugh-ugh

So, this is what it's like to have two sick kids at once, hey?

Nick started to come down with a cold on Saturday and Lillian followed suit last night. I was in bed at 6:30 this morning with a hacking boy on one side and a snuffy girl on the other. What is it with babies that they can't figure out to breathe out of their noses??

As much as I didn't envy Liam having to head out in the cold this morning, there was a definite part of me that wanted to say "Hey, I'll go to work today and you can stay home with the kids. If only he could lactate. Damn him.

Oh, and I almost forgot the best part. Lily apparantly has a built-in defence mechanism against Mommies putting things in her nose. I squirted some saline solution in her nose in an effort to clear out some of the goo. She started to choke so I piked her up and she puked a huge blob of milk and goo all over me. Yum. "If you're gonna squirt stuff up my nose and slime you, woman!! Bwahaha!!"

Home again home again

(My apologies to my dear Helen in taking so long to post my Vancouver entry. I'd started it Wednesday morning before the famous stair incident. Now that I'm unable to do anything useful, I'll finish it.)

After spending five days in Vancouver here are my broad generalizations of the city and it's residents:
- Everyone drinks coffee, talks on cell phones, and walks their little dogs around the streets. Often these things happen at the same time.
- There are definite gaps between the "Have's" and the "Have-not's". People either walk around with fashionable clothes and expensive accessories or else they push shopping carts and dig through dumpsters.
- The drivers are insane. Sudden starts and stops combined with random non-signaled turns made for some very tense moments on the roads.
- Vancouverites freak out when the temperature dips near freezing in February. This is Canada, people, get over it! You've got green frickin grass and flowers in February. I'm not even sure if they can be considered Canadians with winters like that.

On the topic of Trevor and Mina's wedding, it was simply beautiful. They were married O.L.P.H church (the Vancouver version, not the Sherwood Park version I was married in) in a beautiful ceremony. Their two readings were the "my love is a gazelle" and "love is patient, love is kind" ones, both of which Liam and I had chosen for our weddings. I read the first one which is the one Trevor read for us so there were some really nice memories there for me.

Mina was absolutely gorgeous. She wore a dress that had a sleeveless bodice on top and a poofy bottom with a bit of a train. There were white fabric roses on the skirt part and she had pretty white gloves as well. Her hair was pulled up and she wore a tiara as well as a veil. I wasn't alone in thinking she looked like a princess. During her walk down the aisle, she was so nervous that she was shaking and didn't look up at all. I teased her later that if I hadn't known her I would have thought she was unhappy to be getting married since she looked so serious! She relaxed a bit during the ceremony, though, and was soon teasing Trevor once more.

We had a lunch reception in a beautiful building (the name of which I can't remember) on the UBC campus. It was a cozy and intimate set-up as there were about 55 people present. I spent much of that time in other parts of the building feeding and rocking Lily as well as playing with Nicholas who had had enough of all this boring stuff before the ceremony had even finished. I had many many moments of wishing Liam were there since I felt overwhelmed with being mostly alone with two kids and even whined to Karen once "I want my husband!".

After speeches, a short dance, and some outdoor photos of the shivering bride (she was sleeveless in near-freezing temperatures!) we packed up and headed out to Mina's parents' apartment building where they had rented an area where the cake-cutting took place and various Korean foods were served. Trevor and Mina had changed into Korean clothing for this portion and Mina looked like a beautiful doll.

After a bit, Jo and Graeme drove the kidlets and I back to the hotel since we were all tired and needed to go to bed. Within 45 minutes of getting back to the hotel room, I had both kids asleep and I had polished off a cooler. I can't remember the last time alcohol has been a better friend to me. I even wrote some alcohol-induced mushy stuff about Liam in my journal. Yeesh.

We got to see Trevor and Mina for a bit on Sunday and I kept poking Mina's belly. The chick is 17 weeks pregnant and she's just starting to get a little bump! Too cute. I made them promise to send me belly pictures throughout the rest of the pregnancy.

Oh, and the honeymoon. They've headed off to Korea for a week then they'll hit Thailand for two weeks. I'm not jealous. Really. Not at all. Uh-huh.

The remainder of the trip was spent mostly in Stanley Park. We visited the more public areas at first but the 4-hour hike in the woods was much more satisfying. Nicholas found the Haunted Tree's Great-great-great-great-great-great Grandpa. Anyone who is confused about the Haunted Tree needs to tell Liam to post about it.

And that was my trip. Here are some of the professional photos that were taken. Each guest received a cd with these pictures.

Fall down go boom

Here's a Wednesday afternoon math lesson for my blog-readers:

Kim + Snow + Stairs + Sandals = Krista's couch + Advil + Baggie of snow


Yup. I pulled a Liam and sprained my ankle. I was taking Nicholas out to the bus and fell down the cement stairs leading down to the road. I was wearing slip-on sandals and now I feel really really dumb. Ugh.

I called Nick's school and they're going to bring him out to the parking lot so I don't have to get out of the car. Krista's going to come by and carry Lily down to the car for me in a little while.

Somebody tell me that this is the only way in which Liam is rubbing off on me. If I start going bald next I'm filing for a divorce. (Sorry Liam.)

Alive on the West coast

Well, we made it! After all the mad-dash packing and wrangling the kids into various vehicles, we're in Vancouver and I'm at my brother's place. We've been ditched for an hour or so while Trevor, Mina, and my parents go get an ultrasound of Baby MacPherson. I'm just a little bit jealous.

I'll keep this short and sweet since Nicholas is waiting for a turn at the computer. He has the difficult decision on whether he should play games off of the CBC Kids site or the Crayola Kids site. Life is full of dilemnas when you're 5 years old.

We've got us a fancy-schmancy hotel room. The bedroom has a door that separates it from the sitting room. OooOOOh! And the sitting room has a fridge, microwave, TV, and teenie tiny coffee maker.

Liam, if you read this before checking you e-mail, GO CHECK YOUR E-MAIL!

I'm done.

It's been a slice

Well, Edmontonians, I'm outta here.

Until next Tuesday anyhow. Tomorrow afternoon the kids and I hop on a plane for Vancouver and we leave behind my poor abandoned husband. My brother is going to marry this stunning lady:





Here's a couple more shots of them. They did their wedding pictures in advance and these are some photos their friend snapped while the professional was doing his thing. The first one is them wearing their formal attire and the second is in traditional Korean clothing. I believe they're doing the ceremony in the Western garb and the reception in the Korean.

Camp Haikus

I was inspired this morning and so here is my report of camp in the form of multiple Haikus in chronological order. Enjoy.

"I forgot my shirt"
Turn around and go back home.
Lily starts to scream.

Sunshine on the lake.
Megaboggan pulled by Steve.
Praying for strong ice.

Steep and muddy slope.
Why did I take the short cut?
Try not to squash Lil.

Co-ordinator?
Some instructions would be good.
Spring camp? Likely not.

Asparagus soup.
Salmon sauce and moist pork loin.
Coffee dark and full.

These children are mine.
I know how to parent them.
Back off crazy broad.

Sleeping baby girl.
In bed, arms, and cuddly wrap.
Who needs a play pen?

Go home little kids.
Where in the hell is Wally?
Camp might never end.

Grumpy babe and boy.
Screams in the car and at home.
Sleep will fix it all.

Rolling rolling rolling...

I would like to take a moment to officially announce to the world that Lillian rolled over from her back to her stomach this morning for the first time. About 30 seconds later, she rolled from her stomach to her back and landed on her big brother.

She's been close to rolling for a week, but that darned right shoulder always got in the way. For some reason it clicked for her today. I personally think it's because she was naked and there was less interference to deal with.

Oh, and here's the latest Nicholas quote for his fans: "Africa is a really really poor country because one time there was a flood and it washed all the money out of the country. I think it went into the sewers."

Goal update

Here's where things stand as of today:
Total weight lost: 15 lbs
Weight left to lose before April 1: 10 lbs
Total weight remaining to goal: 40 lbs

I'm chipping away at the pounds and it looks like I'll make it to my mini-goal. Woohoo!! On Sunday I wore a skirt that I haven't fit into since early in my pregnancy when Lily made my belly start to bulge.

Today I finally did a workout video like I've been meaning to for a few months. The video was aptly named Shaping Up For Dummies and goes through twelve exercises with two sets of twelve for each. Lillian played on the floor and behaved fabulously. A dirty diaper necessitated a quick bum change between exercises 7 and 8. My doing push-ups over top of her proved to be too much of a temptation and she required a quick snack before I could move on to the next exercise. All in all, it worked out quite well so hopefully this will inspire me to do videos on a regular basis.

Well ok then Miss Screechy-Pants

Life with children is so predictably unpredictable.

Thursday morning, I received a phone call from my friend cancelling our get-together which had been slotted for that afternoon because her friend had had her baby. Fine then baby, just mess up a play-date over your arrival into the world. Don't worry about the fact that I haven't seen said friend in over a month and multiple plans were changed in order to make that afternoon work for us.

In the evening, Nicholas' cold (which had been bothering him since the previous Friday) kicked into high gear. Out with my plans to attend the LLL meeting and in with the new plans of cuddling a beet-red boy who couldn't stop hacking.

I actually did make it to the chapter meeting on Friday night, but there were only Lily, myself, and one other adult present as opposed to the 10 or so ladies and 6 or 7 babies who were present last month.

Tonight, though, was the real kicker. I'd originally planned to go to both a movie and dinner with the girls to celebrate Krista creeping closer to becoming an old woman...I mean, to celebrate Krista gracefully aging another year.

Anyhow, I decided this afternoon to cancel the movie part of the evening since Nicholas kept us all up for most of the night last night. It started with him screaming and yelling in his sleep for 5-10 minutes at a time. Fun. Next, he showed up in our room at 2 am refusing to sleep anywhere but in our bed since he was too scared for anything else. After much arguing, Lillian and I shuffled over and Liam took a blanket a pillow downstairs to the couch.

So, back to tonight. I decided to meet up with everyone at the restaurant at 6:30. Things went really well for the first, um, 30 seconds? I took Lily out of her snowsuit then Krista picked her up and passed her to Helen. That is when Lily decided that this night out was for the birds and she began to scream.

These, by the way, were not normal cries or sobs but rather full-body ear-piercing screams that threatened to shatter every glass in the building. I have three ladies and most of a restaurant who can verify that fact.

I tried to calm my seemingly-posessed baby first in the washroom then outside before deciding that something was wrong and I should get home and figure it out. By the time I left Helen and I were pretty certain it must have been an ear infection that was causing all the trouble.

As soon as I got Lillian strapped in the carseat, she started to calm down. By the time we arrived home a few minutes later she had only made a few small complaining noises. When we got in the house, I immediately took her up to bed for some serious snuggling and she proceeded to nurse, babble, and coo.

Now, before we come to the conclusion that the Lil simply decided that Opium was for the decidedly un-cool, I will point out that she did have another short episode of screaming about 15 minutes later. I popped some Tylenol and teething tablets in her and she cheered up soon after.

The next 2 1/2 hours were filled with a happy playful baby who fell asleep within 5 minutes of lying down in bed with me and she's now been asleep for about 40 minutes.

While I'm grateful that tonight ended on such a tranquil note, I sometimes wonder if it's worth making plans when my kids are young. Maybe I should just stay home, cuddle with my kids, and read some good books.

Yoga mom

A true mom video clip. If you're offended by boobage flashing or a nursing kid, don't click!

Nursing on the go

Warning: Whining ahead

Ugh. I was up until 12:30 last night with Lillian and Nicholas was awake and hacking in my ear at 6 am. Exactly how many cups of coffee am I now entitled to?

I'm seriously considering ducking out of grocery shopping this afternoon so the Lil and I can sneak in a nap before my appointment at the bank at 2.

You've gotta love kids. Not only do they give you stretch marks and mess up your house, they also keep you on the edge of lunacy through lack of sleep.

Speaking of messing up the house, does anyone else think that the Mommy Goddess got things really screwed up in the mess and time department? If you have no kids, you have lots of time and very little mess. If you've got kids you end up with lots of mess and very little time. I've also noticed that it just seems to get worse when the children multiply.

Update: Yes, the fun continues. Shortly after writing this I went downstairs and saw that Fingers had knocked over a glass of milk on the kitchen table. Suddenly my idea of storing my scrapbooking things in the new shelving unit on the table seemed quite stupid since the box for my photos has been trashed. The chair and carpet are also soaked in milk. Yum.

While I was downstairs cleaning this up Jack snuck into my room (the door to which I was certain I'd closed) and woke Lillian up. Many profanities have since been muttered.

Magic Moments

Magic 99 has become the radio station of choice in our household. Since Nicholas lives here, he spends a lot of time hearing the songs they play. As a result, the following "magic moments" have taken place:

- He has taken the tune of "Good People" by Jack Johnson and changed the words. The result has been the song "Where have all the Lilys gone?", which he sings over and over again.

- He can accurately name the artist when Sarah McLachlan, Dido, Jann Arden, Michael Buble, or Diana Krall are singing. When it's Diana Krall, he always says "My Dad is in love with her". I may or may not have anything to do with him knowing that.

- He sings along with Enya's new song. There's nothing more amusing that a 5-year-old boy singing along with Enya.

- He yelled at the radio "They stole that song from Sarah McLachlan!!". It was the Beatles singing Blackbird.

I'm so very all alone

Well, except for the two kids, the dog, and the cat, I'm all alone.

Liam and Krista (and Tash??) are gone to Woodbadge Training this weekend and I've been left to fend for myself. Really, this isn't any different than a regular weekday except that Nicholas isn't going to school, but I'm bitter about it because weekends are supposed to be my Liam time.

Maybe I'll go downstairs and get some love from Rob. If I close my eyes and make sure not to feel the top of his head I might not notice the difference.

Pirate-y goodness

You know you might be married to a pirate when:

1. He goes around saying "Yarr" all the time.

2. He shaves his head.

3. His cat likes to perch on his shoulder.

4. He's got sexy legs.

5. He takes pictures like this:

Mmm-mmm good

Here's my thought of the day for everyone:

If you think that getting soap in your eye is where it's at, you haven't lived until you get St. Ives Apricot Scrub in your eye.

There's nothing quite like feeling the little chunks of grit under your eyelid to make you want to yell out "Oh yeah, world! I'm ready for another fun day!!".

Screw you St. Ives. That hurt like a %#$@. Put a frickin warning on the bottle or something. "Warning: Keep product out of eyes unless you are planning to have them removed anyhow. Idiot."

Goals a la Kim

Since Helen and Liam have posted their goals, I feel the need to share mine.

My goals deal are more along the weight-loss line of things, rather than cleaning or reading. I've got baby weight and then some to lose, so I've got my work cut out for me.

Since beginning to weigh myslef (something like two months ago) I decided that I want to lose 55 lbs total. No, I'm not going to say what the actual weight is, but suffice to say that it's doable since I was 10 lbs lighter than that only 3 years ago.

So far, I'm down 11 lbs. By April first, I want to have lost another 14 lbs. That will leave me with another 30 lbs. Yikes.

I'm going the route of FlyLady's Body Clutter book. Along with that I'm doing her Body Clutter Investigator (a daily sheet where I record my weight, water and food intake, etc.) and walking. Sometime around March I'll get back into running as well.

Go me!

Happy birthday to me!

For my birthday, the federal government has given me $508. Yee-haw!

It's actually Nicholas' money, but the cheque is written to me. Since we were late doing our income taxes (only by 7 months or so), we were cut off from the Child Tax Benefits. This is apparantly back-pay, minus the over-payment they made when they thought I was still single.

This makes me think...in theory Lillian is owed something like $600 for back-payments. We haven't done the paperwork to apply for her yet and the only thing that's stopping me is that her birth certificate is lost somewhere in the mess that is our computer room. I hate the mess in here with a passion, but I think that I could manage to get it cleaned up for $600.

Yay free money. Now I just need that gas bonus and the other $500 we've each been promised by Klein.

It really does explain a lot

Sometimes I wonder why I feel like I'm going looney. Then I look around my house and notice things like:

- Fingers eating empty gelatine capsules. How good could those possibly taste?!

- Jack running around outside barking at snowflakes.

- Nicholas coming up with phrases like "That's why they say 'Never play with a fool's peanut!'" and "Your boobs are Lily treasure-boxes,".

- Dumb people calling me and getting the wrong number giving me attitude. No, my name is not Joy and if you repeat the name followed by a last name and some guy's name our house will not magically transform into said household.

Uh huh.

Oh

So that's what a meltdown feels like. Nifty.

Yesterday I reached my limit. I didn't know what it was, but I found it.

Maybe it was the fact that I didn't finish a single meal that I started to eat, and didn't have time to sit down at all for supper.

Maybe it was because those damn little fishcakes refused to look like little fish the way they did in the kid's cookbook.

Maybe it was the mad-dash $200 grocery-shopping trip that included the baby who had to be fed half-way through.

Or maybe it was the 6 hours of sleep I'd had the night before, or the part where Lillian woke up 3 times during those 6 short hours.

Then again, it could have been those 15 minutes I had to unload the groceries from the car, get myself and Lillian dressed to go out, and walk to Nicholas' school to pick him up.

It wouldn't surprise me either if it had something to do with those nasty postpartum hormones kicking my butt just for the fun of it.

I think the part where I arrived at Nicholas' Tae Kwon Do hoping for a chance to sit only to find out it was parents night was a part of it. Trying to participate while jiggling a baby on one hip and holding up a pad for Nicholas to kick was a bit much.

All I know is that I've never been happier to see Liam than I was last night when he showed up to rescue me at Tae Kwon Do. He took over and Lillian and I headed for the sidelines for a quick snack before heading home. I cried the whole way and my legs were wonky when I walked up to the house.

Liam, my knight in shining armor, sent me to bed at 8 and washed the mountain of dishes that had taken over the entire kitchen.

Life is better today. I've had enough food, sleep, and quiet moments that I don't feel like running away from home.

For your viewing pleasure

Gee, that wasn't too weird at all

This morning when I woke up, I found it to be incredibly warm in our bedroom. After kicking off all the blankets and moving as far away from any warm bodies as possible, I silently begged the furnace to stop pumping hot air into our bedroom. I watched the clock for ten minutes, the whole while the furnace churning away. At this point, I seriously started to consider the possibility that the furnace was broken and would never turn off again.

I went downstairs to check what temperature it was set to and was very surprised to see that our front door was wide open. It had obviously been this way for quite some time judging by the frostiness of the air downstairs and the non-stop action of the little furnace that could.

I closed and locked the door then went up to the bathroom where Liam was having a shower to ask him why the door was open. He had no idea either. The last time either of us had paid attention to the door was when he locked it before he went to bed and I checked it a few minutes later on my way to bed.

Weird.

In the half hour or so since this incident I have come up with the following possibilities as to how our front door became unlocked and opened while everyone was still in bed:

1) Liam was sleep-walking and opened it himself.
2) Fingers was really bored and spent all night working on it.
3) Lillian knows a lot more than she's telling us.
4) Someone broke into our house without leaving any footprints in the snow then decided not to steal anything.
5) The Leddys somehow ended up with a working key to our house and thought it would be funny.
6) Some not-so-funny ghost has taken up residence in our house and wanted some fresh air.

Seriously, people, somehow our door ended up open and none of us has a clue. I'm open to suggestions here. As for now, I've got both the handle and the deadbolt locked and I'll be more than happy when the sun comes up this morning. Creepy.

Trying not to scream

I just want to smack someone. Or swear really loudly. Or down about 6 shots of anything alcoholic.

Today has been one of those days.

Nicholas spent the entire afternoon being a whining grump because my parents were over. This then escalated to full-out screaming by suppertime. He insisted at one point that he couldn't pick up a carrot stick with his right hand because the cat scratch on his left hand hurt too much. Uh huh. (The cat scratch, by the way, was the result of him trying a little too hard to help Fingers go down the stairs.)

Lillian has been joining in the mayhem. She's had three naps today, all of which have been less than one hour. When she doesn't get at least one good nap (2 or more hours straight) she turns into a screechy angry baby by the evening. Oh, and her final attempt at an evening nap was ruined by Nicholas' latest meltdown/outburst. Yes, Rob, that was the screaming you heard while you and Liam were on the phone. Sorry about the timing.

So, both kids are currently in the tub and Liam is supervising. I'm seriously considering drinking and/or running away. I already ran away once, but it was only down to the parking lot and I came back when I'd supressed the urge to smack Nicholas.

(Just to keep things clear, no I do not smack my children nor do I drink copious amounts of alcohol while breastfeeding a small baby. I just happen to be seriously questioning my judgement right now.)

Taking it to a whole new level

Jack and Fingers play. A lot. Jack can rarely walk through a room without Fingers launching herself from whatever piece of furniture she's sitting on, onto Jack's back. It's actually quite a lot of fun to watch since Jack usually ends up putting Fingers' entire head in his mouth at some point, and Fingers defends herself by clawing at his eyeballs with her hind legs. Lots of laughs for everyone.

As I type, both the cat and the dog are INSIDE of a sleeping bag rolling around and beating each other up. It looks like the sleeping bag is alive and slowly unzipping itself.

The Johnstone animals are weird and I'm home alone with them.

Lum Lum Lum

This morning I tried to get in touch with Liam via his office phone for over an hour an a half. I found out later that he was in a safety meeting, but for whatever reason I had myself convinced that he was in the hospital after crashing his car on the way to work. Yeah.

Anyhow, in light of Liam not being dead I decided to write this so he knows how much we like him in his not-dead state.

An Ode to Lum

We love Lum
Because he's great.
He puts food
Upon our plate.
The kids don't call
Him Pops or Dad,
But Poppa John
Ain't so bad.
We like to gaze
At his bald head.
But mostly we like
That he's not dead.

Ah, sweet sweet justice

Fingers was at my bedroom door this morning scratching and meowing because Liam had gone to work and left her oh-so-alone. Three times I got up and sprayed her with the water bottle, though in hindsight it should have been on spray not mist. I finally got up and put her in the laundry room, by which point both kids were awake. Lillian went back to sleep but Nicholas (and therefore I) have been awake since. So very frustrating.

Nicholas is now playing with Fingers and delivering payback without even realizing it. Every few seconds he calls out "Look Mom, Fingers is a basset hound" (pushing her ears down flat against her skull) or "Look Mom, Fingers is praying" (holding her paws together in kitty prayer stance).

Take that kitten. You may have woken me up early but my kid is going to play with you all day. Muwahaha!!

It's official

My brother and Mina have confirmed their wedding date as February 18th and I've got my plane ticket booked!

Nicholas, Lillian, and I will be flying out with my parents on Thursday the 16th and returning on Tuesday the 21st. Liam will be staying home partly to keep costs down and partly to take care of all the animals.

I'm so excited! My excitement has many factors including but not limited to the following:

1) I haven't travelled in an airplane since June of 2001 and I love to fly.

2) I haven't been to Vancouver since I was a kid.

3) I can finally visit my brother, and Mina, and the Jahnses.

4) I get to be out of the house for more than a few hours!!!

5) My brother is getting married to a wonderful woman.

6) Nicholas gets to go on an airplane, which he's done before but doesn't remember since he was only a baby at the time.

I'm kind of bummed that I'll be away from Liam for so many nights, especially since he'll be gone for 2 nights the weekend before when he and Nicholas go off to Beaver camp. I don't think we've ever spent more than one night at a time apart so this is going to be odd. I'll have to post a sign-up sheet for people to take shifts keeping him company throughout the weekend.

Merry Christmas!!

We received a belated Christmas present from Telus today...a $1000 credit to my cell phone account!

Back in the day, something like 3 1/2 years ago, I got this phone and had to pay a $1000 security deposit (the reason why involves a long story but can be summed up by the phrase "my ex is an ass"). I was to receive the security deposit back if I made all of my payments on time for the length of the contract (one year).

Me being me, I messed up and was late on one or two payments and lost the deposit. Or so I thought.

Apparantly Telus has suddenly decided that I'm worthy of the full $1000 and has credited it to my account. Yee-freaking-haw!

I phoned Liam and told him I wanted to buy a new phone, then promptly told him not to let me buy a new phone.

In a strange twist of fate, he took the stance of being the money miser and suggested we put my monthly phone money towards my student loan.

So, I've just now made a payment onto my student loan of the $34.19 plus our leftover money from last month. It feels oddly satisfying to be paying money to the government.

For all the Napoleon Dynamite fans out there

This made me happy. Be happy too!!

Linky link

Hip Hop Happy New Year!!

First off, my apologies to my blog. I've been neglecting you this past week. Liam has been home so I've been kept entertained.

Secondly, happy New Year everyone!! It's scary to think that at almost exactly this time three years ago I had a multi-hour drunken conversation with some bald guy and ended up with his phone number the next morning. He had this really cool friend named Cliff, but I never did get his number.

Tonight Liam and I acted like the boring old couple that we are and we celbrated the changing of the year over snacks and Monopoly. We did take in the fireworks in Sherwood Park at 8, but that was late enough for us to be out.

During tonight's game, I learned a number of things.

1. Monopoly is still as fun as it was when I was a kid.
2. Monopoly has a lot more rules than I was aware of when I was a kid.
3. Lillian enjoys board games enough to sleep through them. (She slept through the fireworks too, so I'm kind of sensing a theme here)
4. The offer of sexual favours can be very useful when bargaining for property and/or money. (During Monopoly only of course)
5. Drinking Coke out of wine glasses makes pop-drinking seem sophisticated.
6. Liam cuts broccoli into pieces to fit his bite size, not that of a normal human.

Growing growing growing

Now that Liam has updated his blog I can talk about Fingers, our new kitten.

But I'm not. I'm going to talk about the news my brother dropped on us last night at the end of Christmas Eve gift-opening night at the MacPherson house. He and Mina are pregnant!!

They're due at the beginning of August, so she's about 8 weeks along right now. I'm gonna be an Auntie!! (I realize I'm already Auntie to Preston, but Auntie by marriage is different that Auntie by blood.)

I'm so excited! Now we just have to convince them to move back to Alberta so I can see this kid more than once every few years.

Congrats Trevor and Mina, and Merry Christmas to everyone!

Prayer request

If you're the praying type, please keep Tanya in your thoughts.

We grew up in the same subdivision and she's only a few years older than me. She was just married this fall and baby was due in a few months. It was recently discovered that she has uterine cancer, the tumor being as big as baby. A c-section and total hysterectomy was done, so now they're dealing with her illness and a premature baby during their first months of marriage.

I'm praying things will turn out well for them. I can't even begin to imagine.

Come on already Liam!!

I've got a secret that's Liam's to tell but he hasn't updated his blog yet!!

I'll give a hint though...our family is growing.

Mmmmm

So just before lunch I decided to treat myself to a glass of egg nog. I'd actually bought it for Liam, but it's been two days and he hasn't even opened it yet!

Anyhow, I poured myself a glass then poured my coffee. Inspiration hit and I decided to combine the two. (Yes, I realize that most of you have probably tried this before but I'm new to this) Oh. My. Goodness.

In other news, Liam is at a management training seminar today. I feel so alone because I can't phone him! Normally I call him up a few times about random things, so this seems so strange.

At least tomorrow is his first day of vacation and I'll have him around the house. Until Tim steals him away tomorrow night anyhow...

Baptism photos

I've been having some issues with these pictures so I'm trying uploading them from photobucket. Here goes nothing...

Ninjas are cool

Nicholas has turned into one of those kids.

Lately, he's enjoyed dressing in black pants and black shirts, even black socks and underwear if they're available. He then calls himself a ninja. The outfit is really complete when he gets to wear his "toe socks", a pair of stretchy baby socks that are too big for Lilly but just big enough to go over Nick's toes.

Today he wants to be a ninja at school, so he's wearing a pair of black jeans and a black zip-up shirt. I figured that since they're normally school clothes he won't look too odd, even though I normally don't send him in head-to-toe black.

I had a talk with him about how even though he's a ninja he still has to behave properly. I found the phrase "Even ninjas listen to Madame's rules" popping out of my mouth. I'm starting to wonder about this family...

(Oh, and baptism pictures and updates will follow when I've got more than five minutes to myself. It should be about a week from tomorrow with the way things are going around here.)

Some holiday cheer.

This is just way too fun.

Scary scary Santa

Glub Glub!

I'm drinking a rye and Coke. Well, it's actually Pepsi, but who cares?

It's been a year tonight since I've had a drink. It'll be a year tomorrow since Lillian was conceived. Coincidence? Hmm...

Make it stop!

So Lillian, that dear and oh-so-cute baby of mine, woke up last night just before I was going to bed. Then, once I brought her up to bed she had a dirty diaper. After I changed her and finally got her to sleep it was about 12:30.

At 2:30, Nicholas appeared in our bed because he was scared of the ghosts in his room. Somehow my half-asleep brain thought that it would be a good idea for him to stay with us. Half an hour and fifteen elbow jabs later, I brought him back to his bed.

At 5:30, Lillian woke up again to eat and had yet another dirty diaper. Downstairs I went again.

I need some sleep. Not just one night of good sleep either, but actual good sleep on a consistent basis. I think my brain is starting to cave in.

Coffee time for me.

And now...it's Thursday

There's really no point to this entry other than to keep Krista quiet. It's now past Monday, so here's a new entry for you.

I also added some links. If there's anyone who's unfamiliar with PostSecret it's a must. Very interesting and very creepy at times. There's an explanation somewhere on the page.

Umm...what else...my kid is chewing away at her fingers. It's almost like it's been more than five minutes since she's eaten.

Other news, other news. Um. I built a gingerbread house with my parents and Nicholas tonight. It was funny and stressful all at the same time. Lillian got icing on her nose and threw a gumball across the table. Rowdy child.

Monday Monday

Anyone who knows me well knows I don't do mornings. At least not very well anyhow. I've technically been awake since 5:30 this morning even though I stayed in bed with my eyes squeezed shut til 8. Ugh. My kids are doing the tag-team routine to keep me awake in the early morning hours.

Nicholas for some reason felt the need to prove twice over this morning that he's Liam's kid. Maybe it's the name change, who knows. He woke up at 6 and layed on the floor outside the bathroom door while Liam took a bath. Weirdo. (For anyone not familiar with Liam lore, this is what he used to do when he was a kid) Then later on (once his lazy mother dragged her butt out of bed) he leaped off the couch yelling "Da-da-da-DA-da-da! I love this song!" when a Michael Buble song came on the radio. Uh...ok. It's a good song, but mellow out a bit kid.

In other news, my house is a disaster. Does someone want to come clean it for me?

I think I may make coffee this morning instead of this afternoon. If only I had some Bailey's to add to it...

Yay for new music

In case you live in the Edmonton area and haven't come across it yet, check out Magic 99 (99.3 FM). They do the jazz/blues/pop thing.

Some of it sounds a little too close to elevator music for my taste, but they play Louis, Ella, Ray Charles, Sarah McLachlan, and Micheal Buble. There are others, of course, but these are the most important ones in my eyes...or ears I guess.

All in all, it makes me happy and isn't that what really counts?

I have no words.

There's no turning back now.

I received a letter this morning from Alberta Registries. Nicholas' name change (which we finally got around to submitting last month) has officially come through.

His full name is now Nicholas Robert MacPherson Johnstone. We bumped MacPherson into a middle name since it's been a part of his name for so long, and also because I still yell it when he's in trouble.

The poor kid. He's one of us now. I don't know if we should throw him a party or offer him my condolences.

The wheels on the bus go round and round

I'm seriously annoyed with our school's bus system.

Nicholas takes the mini bus to school at noon and it picks him up on the street right in front of our complex. It works out beautifully.

On Friday, I inquired into the bus route he'd take if he were to return home by bus as well. I've been walking to the school each afternoon, but it's now way too cold to take Lillian out for that long. After filling in a form which was faxed in to the transportation people, I got a call this morning telling me that his bus stop is two blocks south of our house. The school is two blocks east of our house, so how exactly will this do me any good?

But wait! They'll add a mysterious new stop for him after Christmas break. The only problem is that they can't even tell me where it will be. Hhmm...

Warming up and scraping off the car with Lillian in tow is a pain in the rear, but it may just be easier than dealing with this.

The many cries of Baby Lily

1. Feed me now. I'm starving.
2. Feed me now. I'm not really hungry, but I could be at any given moment.
3. Give me back that boob. I wasn't done yet.
4. My diaper is nasty. Get it off now!
5. I woke up alone. Somebody tell me they still love me!
6. I'm almost awake. Feed me before I wake up and get really angry.
7. I'm bored. Somebody make some faces for me or jiggle me or something.
8. Not that face.
9. Jiggle faster/slower/bouncier/more softly.
10. I'm grumpy. You shall suffer along with me.
11. Treat me like the princess we all know I am.
12. Get that kid off of me.
13. I can't handle all the pressure of being a good baby. Bah!!
14. I'm tired and can't be bothered to fall asleep.

Sick day

I want a sick day. Who do I call?

I need a substitute Mommy, someone who can feed and dress the kids as well as change some diapers and pick up toys. If she could lactate as well that would be a huge bonus.

I want to spend the day in bed with a thick blanket, a good book, and a hot toddy.

Seriously, people, I need a phone number.

Gahk.

Screw you Bogger.

All I asked was that you spell-check my entry, not delete it.

What a waste of a perfectly satisfying rant. Shit.

I'll re-do it when I'm not so bitter.

Infant mathematics

Proven:

Baby Lily + 3 immunizations = cranky baby + fever

Theory:

Cranky + fever + Tylenol = sleep

Somebody stop me

This afternoon I was folding a load of Lillian's laundry and I was saddened to see that I'm going to have to put away a sleeper that she's grown out of already. It was Nicholas' when he was just itty-bitty, and I was sad to put it away that time too.

I was seriously tempted to phone Liam at work to tell him that we need to have another baby just so I can put someone else into that sleeper.

Someone either talk some sense into me or start trying to convince Liam we need three kids.

Laziness

I am a lazy bum.

Liam phoned home this morning at 10:45 and I was still in bed. Asleep.

My sleeping baby rocks.

Random notes

• Liam and I recently purchased a Nora Jones cd. I like it muchly. It seems to make our house mellow. I think I listened to it 5 times back to back on Friday.

• There was a drunk guy pissing on the steps to our complex this evening when my Mom brought Nicholas home. I wonder if he got any in the Leddy yard...

• I need to lable bottles in my house. I used some oil on Lillian's head because her scalp has been dry and flakey the past few days. I thought I was putting almond oil on her but upon closer sniffing I realize it was Benediction Oil. She didn't react to it, so I'm not the worst mother in the world...barely.

• Lillian has pretty much settled on waking at 4 am and 7 am for feedings. I usually only wake up until she's latched on then I'm snoozing again before she's even done eating, so I pretty much feel like I'm sleeping through the nights already. Yay for my good-sleeping baby!

• Liam found me some more Tanya Huff novels at Wee Book on Friday. Now I just need more hours in the day so I can actually read them.

Some people's children

I apologize in advance for my bad language. I'm pissed off and I feel the need to swear.

Some ass stole my diaper bag this afternoon when we were at the pool. Liam and Nicholas went swimming and Lillian and I walked over after a while to watch them. I entered the pool, put my diaper bag down on a bench, and watched my boys. After a bit, I decided to go sit in a chair about 20 feet away from the bench. I couldn't see my bag from where I was sitting because it was around a corner, but I didn't think much of it.

About 20 minutes later, I went back to get my bag and it was gone. Someone picked up Lillian's snowsuit, took her diaper bag, and left. Fuckers.

When I realized that it was missing I spoke to a lifeguard and then a receptionist at the front desk. I was advised to check every locker, cubby, and change room in the locker rooms since thieves apparently go there with bags first.

After checking every single locker in the women's locker room and talking to several people, I decided to check the family change room before getting Liam to go through the men's locker room. Sure enough, there was my bag on a seat in the family change room. Fuckers.

Thankfully, I'd left my wallet at home so the only thing possibly worth stealing was my cell phone. It was still there and no calls had been made.

As I headed back onto the pool deck to tell Liam that all was well, I realized just how pissed off I was that someone's dirty thieving hands had been in my bag going through Lillian's things. Stupid asses. All they got for all their trouble of snatching my bag was glimpse of some diapers and a baby undershirt. I should have left a dirty diaper or two in there.

Bum cooties

Last night, Liam and I were out doing some Christmas shopping. After making a pit stop to change Lillian's dirty diaper, I decided that I'd may as well make my own stop as well. When I went into the bathroom stall, I noticed that they had one of those sanitary toilet seat paper cover dispensers. It made me wonder a few things.

Are there ever any paper covers in those things? I've yet to see one that isn't empty.

Do people really thing that a little piece of paper is going to save them from the bum cooties on the toilet seat?

If they're really so concerned, why don't they just hover over the seat?

What types of bum cooties can you actually contract from sitting on a public toilet?

Maybe it's just me, but the whole thing seems more than a little bit silly.

Does it make me a bad Mom?

Lately, Nicholas has been beginning a lot of his statements with "Guess what!".

Every single time I have to fight not to answer "Chicken butt". Sometimes it's too hard and it bursts out anyway.

Liam does it too, so it makes it ok, right?!

More baby pictures

Here are some cutsie pictures to share. Yay for cute!!


You've gotta love Tummy Time. Well, unles you're Lillian and you've been on your tummy for longer than two minutes.

This is sideways and I don't know how to rotate it without re-doing it, so turn your head or monitor sideways. She just loves her swing, and so do I!!

If there's one thing that Lillian does love (besides my boobs, of course) it's bath time.

It's a dog's life

Today was a big day for Jack.

First, he wore his doggy jacket for the first time. It's red polar fleece lined with a blue cotton-type material. It was custom-made by our neighbor for his doggy pleasure. Unfortunately, it's a bit too big around the neck and when he was walking down the stairs his leg came through the neck hole and he tumbled down the last three steps. He ended up looking dusty and confused.

The next highlight of his day came only a half hour later when it started to snow. He chased snowflakes around the yard. Yep. He jumped and ran and snapped his teeth.

What a life Jack-o.

The good, the bad, and the poopy

Somewhere there is a god of Mommies who does nothing but make sure that the intricate balance of insanity and work being accomplished stays finely tuned.

Take my week, for example. On Monday, Lillian slept in until 9 am. By the time she was up, I'd folded a load of laundry and washed another, had breakfast, washed dishes, and taken a shower. By supper time, I'd cleared off the entertainment unit, set up my nativity scene, gone for a walk, and had coffee with Krista. It was an awesome day. I accomplished so much and I was feeling full of energy even when I went to bed.

The next day, though, started out badly right from the get-go. From 2:30-3:15 am I was up because of an evil cramp in my leg. There's nothing like sitting on the couch with a bag of frozen corn on your leg in the middle of the night to set the tone for the day. When Nicholas woke me up in the morning I had to practically peel myself out of bed. Lillian only stayed asleep until 7:45 before she was screaming but thankfully stopped once I put her in the swing.

After breakfast I decided to take a look at her diaper only to discover that the poop that was supposed to be in it was instead filling the leg of her sleeper. Off we went upstairs to was her off in the sink and rinse out the ultra-nasty sleeper. I also gave her a bath for good measure. Liam phoned not long after and when I complained about my cruddy morning he comforted me by telling me the rest of my day would be better. Just as I hung up the phone Lillian spat up all over herself and the carpet. Uh-huh.

Not too long after Lillian had another dirty diaper. This one, in an effort to be new and exciting, went up her back. Yep, baby poop up to her shoulders and yet another outfit to rinse out in the sink.

Thankfully, Nicholas headed off to school not too long after that and I managed to have a nap. When I picked him up from school I told him how I wasn't nearly so grumpy now that I'd had some sleep. His response was "Finally".

Thanks kid.

Bill of Non-Rights

I found this on a forum and felt the need to share.

(Said to have been written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, Georgia as well as Libertarian from Mississippi Lewis Napper. I have no idea.)

We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of Non Rights.

ARTICLE I -- You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any form of wealth.
More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II -- You do not have the right to never be offended.
This country is based on freedom, and that means the freedom for everyone, not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III -- You do not have the right to be free from harm.
If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.(Yeah, ya jackass.)

ARTICLE IV -- You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found(Not "among" the most charitable, but "the" most charitable. Yeah.), and will gladly help anyone in need but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generations of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V -- You do not have the right to free health care.
That would be nice but, from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in government run health care.

ARTICLE VI -- You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. (Yum.)

ARTICLE VII -- You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII -- You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience.
We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight, if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX -- You don't have the right to a job.
All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X -- You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

A cat named Mouse

Back in the late winter/early spring of 1991, a stray cat appeared in our yard one day. I begged my parents to let me keep her and eventually they gave in. I named her Spike after the dinosaur in The Land Before Time and I was as happy as an 11-year-old girl with a new cat could be.

Within a few short months, we noticed that we were going to have some new additions to the feline portion of our household. I was fascinated watching Spike's belly swell up to an unimaginable size and I laughed at how her belly swayed when she walked. One afternoon I noticed that she was acting strangely and not too long after six little kittens made their way into the world in our garage.

The kitten I picked out to keep was a fuzzy little grey one with white paws and a patch of white going from his chin down to his chest. One of the reasons my Mom liked him so much was because he was so quiet and calm. In later years, this came to mean that he turned into a total couch potato in the winter months. Watching his weight go up and down with the changing seasons was always entertaining.

Over the years, Mouse settled into his role in the MacPherson household. He laid claim to at least a dozen regular sleeping places throughout the house and made good use of them all. He especially enjoyed the warmth of any person whether adult, child or even baby.

Nicholas and Mouse had a special relationship right from day one. The first day I brought Nicholas home, Mouse went right up to him, sniffed him, and promptly decided that he wasn't a good food source. Within a couple of years, though, Nicholas not only knew how to feed "Kitty", but he also knew where the good stuff was; the catnip drawer.

This morning my Mom came over to give me a hand with some things around the house and mentioned that Mouse had gone outside last night and was still out when she went to bed. There was no sign of him when they checked for him at 2 am and again at 6 am. We were both hoping that he would show up some time today.

Unfortunately, my Mom called me when she got home this afternoon. My Dad found Mouse's body behind the garage this afternoon. They're not sure if he froze from staying out or if he died of something else. One way or another, he was happy and healthy when I saw him yesterday so at least he had a good life right until the end of his 14 years.

On the walk home this afternoon, I told Nicholas the sad news. I told him that Grandpa would bury Mouse in the woods beside the dog's grave. I hugged him and we both cried for a bit before walking some more. Every few minutes Nicholas would remember something else about Kitty and we would both stop and cry for a little bit again.

After a while, Nicholas began giggling through his tears and said he had something funny to say. When I asked him what it was, he said "It's funny that Kitty and the dog are buried beside each other. Now they'll chase each other around in the ground."

Run Kitty run.

Life beyond diapers

That haze that enveloped me in the last weeks of pregnancy and only became worse once Lillian came along and wrecked my sleeping schedule is slowly lifting. I've been feeling back to myself (well, mostly anyway) and I've been itching to do things which are more intellectually stimulating than changing diapers and doing the "Please stop crying" dance around the living room.

I've started writing a newsletter about alternative therapies and horses, which will hopefully be a stepping stone to me turning my focus back to my equine clients (for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about see http://www.passages.7h.com). I'm working out the formatting for a quarterly newsletter which will include info on the work I do with horses, spotlights on Flower Essences, and activities for riders to try out at home (or rather at the barn I suppose). I'm still trying to decide if I'm writing it more for gaining new clients or more for my own satisfaction. Does it matter?

The other "project" I'm undertaking is writing a story for the La Leche League magazine New Beginnings. I'd describe what I have in mind, but it seems that what I write takes on a life of its own and rarely ends up bearing any resemblance to what I'd intended at the start. If I ever complete it I'll be sure to post a copy here. And if it manages to get printed I'll brag about it big time.

Something else I'm looking forward to is doing the La Leche League leader training. For those not in the know, LLL is an international organization that offers information and support to breastfeeding mothers. They rock.

Anyhow, I was approached by a current leader I know and she invited me to become a leader. I'm not sure on the details of the training, but it involves some written materials as well as a period of mentoring with a leader. I'll find out more this week.

I have found LLL to be such a wonderful resource and I believe that what they do is very important. I'd love to be a part of it all, and I think it would be a wonderful way of bringing the focus of the human side of my practice around to women and babies as I'd been wanting to do.

On that note, I'm off. I can't sit here sniffing Lillian's head all day or Liam will get angry with me.

Bums are fun!

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and :( is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by
:-)
:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass
(!) a tight ass
(_*_) a sore ass
{_!_} a swishy ass
(_o_) an ass that's been around
(_x_) kiss my ass
(_X_) leave my ass alone
(_zzz_) a tired ass
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass
(_?_) Dumb Ass

Geek test

Go here: http://www.innergeek.us/ and take this geek test. It's a bit long but good.

I'm apparantly not very geeky (only 12.62327%). I cringed at how many I knew Liam would check off.

How geeky are you?

From the mouths of babes

This has been quite the week for kid-quotes. Here are a few:

"When I get older I can turn into a woman if I change my gallstones. I saw it on TV." - Nicholas

"You have a really really big bum." - The Littlest Leddy upon seeing my behind.

"Mom! There's a tornado...in Calgary!!" - Nicholas after seeing a news clip on the hurricane in Florida.

These are the books I know, I know. These are the books I know.

Somewhere in the frenzy of Lillian's first weeks of life and of Nicholas' first weeks of school, I have been finding the time to (slowly) read three books.

The first I'll mention is the one I'm greatly enjoying. It's entitled Woman: An Intimate Geography and is written by Natalie Angier. To be quite honest, the main reason I bought it was because when I picked it up to look at it I saw that there was an entire 19-page chapter devoted solely to breastmilk. I thought that was sort of nifty, especially seeing as I was just re-entering the world of lactation myself. I found the breastmilk chapter fascinating, and of course randomly read parts out loud to Liam wheter he really wanted to know these interesting facts or not.

I then went on to start reading the book from the beginning since that's the way they're generally meant to be enjoyed, and I have since been throuroughly impressed my Angier's work. I fully admit that I'm quite interested in the workings of the human body. In high school, biology 30 was a treat. In college, phisiology was fascinating and I didn't mind poring over my textbook for hours while caring for the then-3-month-old Nicholas. This book, however, goes well beyond simple explanations of human physiology and biology. Angier has an amusing sense of humor and an off-center way of viewing life. I've burst out loud laughing at phrases like "the great wall of Vagina" and references to overblown beliefs on penis envy. Angier's ability to examine multiple theories on the adaptations we have come to recognize as the normal functioning of the human body are refreshing and thought-provoking. I just wish I had more hours in the day to devote to reading.

I was originally going to write about the other two in this entry, but in hopes of actually posting this before the year is out I'll stop here for now.

Flyer Girl update

Today is Wednesday, otherwise known as Edmonton Examiner day. As mentioned in my previous Flyer Girl entry, we rarely receive our copy. After last week's "episode" I had given up all hope of ever receiving another Examiner in our mailbox. I had even formed a plan to ask for Krista's leftovers.

This afternoon Flyer Girl did not make an appearance. Instead, she apparantly sent in her sidekick Flyer Boy. Somehow, he managed to place our Examiner in our mailbox without losing life or limb.

Will wonders never cease?

(For those who are wondering, yes I do realize that my world is far too small if I'm devoting this much energy to the delivery of flyers and the occasional Edmonton Examiner.)

Another theft

I outright stole this from Krista's blog. If I give her credit does that make it ok?

My Alphabet

[A is for age of first kiss:]
Seventeen.
[B is for booze of choice:]
I discovered rye and Coke's just before getting pregnant. I think I still like them.
[C is for career:]
Mom/moo cow. Technically I'm still a Holistic Health Practitioner and Equine Sports Therapist as well.
[D is for your dad's name:]
Howard.
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:]
Me, of course.
[F is for favorite song at the moment:]
The tambourine one on Beck's Guero cd.
[G is for favorite game:]
I like playing Rummy since I can often beat Liam.
[H is for hometown:]
Sherwood Park.
[I is for instruments you play:]
Piano/keyboard.
[J is for jam or jelly you like:]
Raspberry.
[K is for kids?]
Two. Oh, and the big bald one.
[L is for last kiss?]
If we're talking "real" kiss then last night. If we're talking kid smooches than a few minutes ago.
[M is for mom's name:]
Mary Jane.
[N is for name of your crush:]
I don't know that I have one right now. The whole Vin Diesel thing has faded.
[O is for overnight hospital stays:]
Once when I had each kid, a few nights for gallstones during my first pregnancy, and four nights when Lillian was in for her seizures (though I wasn't a patient then so I don't know if it counts).
[P is for phobias:]
None unless my intense dislike for horror movies counts.
[Q is for quotes you like:]
I don't have any favorites and I'm much too lazy to go look for some right now.
[R is for relationship that lasted the longest]
That would be my current relationship. We've been together just about 3 years.
[S is for sexual preference:]
I like men. They're hot.
[T is for time you wake up:]
Whenever my hooligans wake me up. Anytime between 6 and 8:30 depending on the day.
[U is for underwear:]
Grey, blue, and green pinstripes for me tooday. Woohoo!
[V is for vegetable you love:]
Fresh peas.
[W is for worst habit:]
Being a know-it-all.
[X is for x-rays you've had:]
Skull, spinal, dental, and two pelvic.
[Y is for yummy food you make:]
I make the best banana bread I've ever eaten.
[Z is for zodiac sign:]
Aquarius.

Yay fun stuff!

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The joys of being a housewife

My life as a stay-at-home mom is busy. Not too terribly fast-paced or stressful, but it fills the hours from sunrise til sunset every day.

Today I faced the dilemma of possibly choosing a new grocery store. My possible switch may come not as a result of intensive price-comparing or even in pursuit of better customer service. No, I think I'll switch because the Sobey's bags fit into my garbage can better than Safeway's. Oh the drama that is my life.

I had a fun conversation this evening with the flyer girl. She delivers the Edmonton Examiner on Wednesdays (which I receive maybe once a month if I'm lucky) and flyers on Fridays. I happened to have my head stuck out the door tonight when she came by. She asked if I could tie Jack up "or something" because he can jump up high enough to put his front paws on the fence. Umm...excuse me? We moved our mailbox (rather, Liam did) to the outside of our fence so that we could receive our mail and junkmail without worrying about people encountering the obstacle that is Jack.

I explained to Flyer Girl that the mail man manages to leave us our mail each day without a problem. I realize that a 20 lb dog on the opposite side of a 4-foot fence presents quite the fearsome sight, but somehow he braves it. Her response was a blank stare tinged with frustration. I told her I would not be tying up my dog for flyers and closed my door. Bite me grumpy dog-fearer.

The excitement of this domestic life is almost too much for me.

Yay, quiz time!

Krista is a bad influence. That is all I have to say.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

You Are a Strawberry Daiquiri

You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party.You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk!

What Mixed Drink Are You?

You Are Japanese Food

Strange yet delicious.Contrary to popular belief, you're not always eaten raw.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Your Outrageous Name is:

Ima Hore

Outrageous Name Generator

More pictures

I'm turning into a total bore, I know. I don't have two awake brains cells with which to write anything entertaining, but I do have some oh-so-cute pictures.

A test of sorts

This started out as a test on getting my siggy for a forum to work, but now it's to show it off. Yay. Pretty.

Home again home again...

It's Thursday and we're all finally home again. Lillian was released from the hospital at 10 am today and we almost ran out of the hospital in case they decided to keep us in longer. My Mom dropped Nicholas off a few hours later, and for the first time in 6 days we are a family under the same roof.

Lillian has been seizure-free since Sunday so the medication seems to be working. She'll be on it for a month and hopefully it'll be smooth sailing the whole way through. I still get frightened that she'll have another seizure at any moment, but the panic of the weekend is subsiding. Since the seizures could potentially return later in life I don't think it's a fear I'll ever totally be rid of.

Thank you to everyone for your support over the past few days. The phone calls, e-mails, and prayers have been very much appreciated. Knowing how many people were thinking of us has made this trial much easier to get through.

A picture and an update

This one is for Sean. I do believe that this is the only picture we have of Liam holding Lillian. It's either because he's the one who takes all the pictures or because she's constantly attached to my boob.

We seem to be making some progress in the eating/sleeping cycles. Lillian is actually sleeping for up to four hours at a time and eating all in one go before dozing off again. All I need now is for her to start scheduling some of those four-hour sleeping chunks during the night.

Liam had his best diaper-changing experience yesterday. He got to change a dirty diaper and jinxed himself by saying "This is going to be the easiest one yet" since there was hardly anything in it. No sooner had the words left his lips than Lillian let loose all over the change pad. Then, to top it off, she peed as well. That's my girl.

Baby pictures!!

Liam got the pictures onto the computer today! So...here are some Lillian pics for all to enjoy.

The new happy family.

Mom and baby a few minutes after birth.

Momma and baby a few hours after birth.

A sideways sleepyhead shot.

The classic scale photo. She does have two arms in real life, though.

Kinda fuzzy, but oh-so-cute.

And on that note, Miss Screechy-Pants demands her dairy bar.

There really was a baby in there!!

Despite my late-pregnancy doubtings, there really was a baby in that huge old belly of mine. I gave birth on Sunday to a beautiful little girl who we named Lillian Marie. She's beautiful, girlie, and perfect (a fact which the resident pediatrician officially confirmed).

Our little bundle weighed in at 6 lbs 14 oz and measures 21 inches long. She's my tall skinny girl! She's got lots of long dark hair, and her eyes are that pretty undefined grey/blue color that newborns are so famous for.

There will be pictures and more details soon, but that's all my brain can handle for now!

My oh so cool life

I feel like doing some updates, but I'm not feeling particularly long-winded (for once) so I'm going to use bullets. Bullets are fun.

• I'm now one day away from my "official" due date. Still no baby. Nuff said.

• I've been walking a lot again. Yay! I walked Nicholas to school yesterday afternoon, which took me 30 minutes. In the evening we went on a group tromp in the woods and it took us an hour and a half. Not bad for a hugely pregnant lady if I do say so myself. I did have to make a visit to the bushes, though. Damn you and your coffee Krista!

• Nicholas went to his first full afternoon of kindergarten. I'm still digesting my feelings on it, so I'll probably blog on it later. I'm proud to say that I managed not to cry until I got back home. Woo!

• I'm now just shy of 800 pages into Gone With the Wind. I just may finish it before baby shows up. I'm amazed at how little I remember of the story. It's only been 5 years since I read it last! My hormones ate my brains.

And that is all. Pretty exciting life I lead.

The waiting game.

No, we haven't had the baby yet. No, I'm not in labor.

Those seem to be the two things everyone wants to know these days, so I thought I'd get that cleared up right away.

I'm now three days from my due date and aside from infrequent painful contractions (which mostly seem to happen at night so that I wake up again and again) we have no sign of our baby making his/her grand entrance yet. I was really hoping to have the baby this weekend, especially after learning that our doctor will be gone after Wednesday, but no matter how excited/frustrated/worried I get nothing is happening.

We've now got friends phoning us specifically to ask if we've had our baby yet. I told Liam I don't mind people calling once because it's nice to know we're being thought of, but I'm already impatient enough to get this show on the road without everyone I know telling me they're waiting too. Friends who don't hear from us for a few days assume we're at the hospital, my parents think I'm calling to tell them I'm in labor each time I call, and Liam keeps calling home to ask if I'm in labor yet.

Nicholas also starts his first full afternoon of kindergarten tomorrow, so now we've got school to throw in the mix. He actually told me he wants the baby to be born tonight so he can skip tomorrow and go Friday instead. Hhmm...coming up with excuses to skip class a little early are we kiddo?

The end is near.

It's official. I'm exactly 12 days away from my official due date. While this whole due date thing is obviously not an exact science, it does mean that I'm really freaking close to giving birth to this baby. It could happen any day between now and 3 1/2 weeks from now.

I've known since Nicholas was two minutes old that I wanted more children. I didn't know how or when until the whole Liam thing happened, but I knew I was headed in that direction. Throughout our dating days and engagement period, Liam and discussed when we would have more kids and it wasn't too long after we officially tied the knot that we decided to make the big leap. Two months later, we sat in the living room staring at a little stick, Liam with a look of glee on his face and me with "Holy shit, what have we done?" screaming in my brain.

Almost exactly 8 months later, I sit here with an abdomen that greatly resembles a watermelon in both size and stripes, feet that don't fit any normal shoes I own, and ankles that lack anything even remotely close to ankle bones. And I wait.

Every day Nicholas and I discuss whether or not the baby will be born that day. Every time I drive by the hospital I say to my belly "We're right near the hospital. Any thoughts on coming out?". And every time I talk to a friend I repeat the same "No, there's no baby yet" phrase. And I wait.

On the one hand, I can't wait for this baby to be born. I'd really like my body back, and I'd really like to be able to walk up the stairs without feeling like I've just sprinted around the block. I'm also concerned about what I'll do if my sandals no longer fit. I also have to admit that the idea of wearing something other than my black maternity capris and Liam's U of L shorts is akin to the midwinter dreamings of warm spring mornings.

On the other hand, I've still got one foot firmly planted in "I'm not yet ready for this baby" world. The biggie, obviously, is going through labor. As much as I've prepared myself and created a support system which includes Liam and my doula Kara, it looms in front of me like a huge stormcloud full of unknown possibilities. There are also many small things which cause me to mentally hesitate. This may be my last pregnancy and I may never again experience the joys of feeling my child's body move inside of my own. Nicholas will never again be my only child. Our lives will be dramatically changed as a new little soul comes into our home.

I think it's a good thing that labor starts spontaneously. If I were able to control when it started, I'd wait until I felt totally ready and I can't say that that time would ever actually arrive. I'm ready, and I'm not. In the end the choice of when this baby arrives won't be up to me, but I do know that the moment my child is placed in my arms will be the exact right moment.

What ever happened to my 100 things?

I made it through the first 50 things about myself but somehow I fizzled out after that. I can't say that I'll tell 100 things then only do half that. That would be oh so wrong. So, here we go...

51) My natural hair color is brown, but I've dyed it red and black. I've also had blonde streaks. I've sworn never to dye my hair again, at least not while I've got it long.

52) When I was a little kid I used to think it'd be cool to be a rock star, but I'm too shy to sing in front of anyone other than Nicholas.

53) My favorite color is blue.

54) I've had 6 different homes in my life.

55) I've had stitches 6 times. Coincidence? Hhmm...

56) I get cold sores. I despise them. I have one now and I want to rip off my lip.

57) I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and want the baby to come OUT.

58) When I was angry as a kid, I used to imagine that I was adopted.

59) I now wear my wedding and grad rings on a chain around my neck because my fingers are too puffy to get them on and off. And on the same note, only three pairs of my shoes fit me now.

60) I have a hard time believing that I'm a "real" grownup. I still feel like I'm pretending at the whole mom and wife thing.

61) Half of my front right tooth is fake. I smashed it when I fell off my bike as a kid and landed on my face. Ouch.

62) I don't like scary movies. They scare me. Being scared is bad.

63) I used to pay for my horse's board by cleaning out stalls. I kind of miss being sweaty and smelling like horse poo.

64) When Liam tricked me into thinking he wasn't going to propose to me and then turned around a proposed, I was angry. Not for pretend. I was pissed off. But I still said yes.

65) I'm currently re-reading Gone With the Winds. The first time I read it was when I was 38 weeks pregnant with Nicholas. I like patterns.

66) I cannot stand Chris Farley. Watching him "act" makes me want to hurt someone.

67) Through pregnancies and breastfeeding, my body so far has supported the life of another for a total of 63 months. I rock.

68) My brother is getting married in May. I'm excited to have a really good reason to go to Vancouver. Oh, and I'm excited that my brother is getting married, of course.

69) I once got drunk at a bar and kissed a guy I'd met that night. We were both incredibly wasted and couldn't remember each other's names. Thank goodness for Tricia being my chaperone!

70) I worked at Radio Shack for a total of two years. I was such a geek.

And now one for Liam

I'm putting a warning right at the top of this entry. This is going to be mushy and lovey-dovey. If you don't like that kind of thing, run run away.

I decided to dedicate an entry to the good parts of Liam. This is partly to make up for what a good sport he was about the previous entry that picked on him, and partly because today is our one-year wedding anniversary. I also decided to make this a public statement because although I tease Liam quite often in front of others, I don't think that I acknowledge nearly often enough what a dear and wonderful man he is. So, here we go...

Liam, there are so many things about you for which I'm grateful. Thank you a million times over for the million ways in which you make my life better.

Thank you for your kindness and patience. You treat me better than I sometimes feel I deserve, and you put up with my mood swings, rants, and pickiness with grace. I'm still not quite sure how you manage it.

Thank you for how hard you work to provide for us. I truly appreciate being a stay at home mom, and I could obviously never do this without you working so hard. For all the work you do and all the extra hours you put into overtime, thank you.

Thank you for being such a great dad. I never dared hope that I would find someone who would be as wonderful as you have been with Nicholas. And for this coming baby, thank you for taking care of me during this pregnancy and supporting me by attending all the doctor's appointments. I love that you're just as thrilled over every little milestone as I am.

Thank you for being my best friend. I truly do feel that I have found my partner in life on all levels. This past year has been incredible. You've brought so much happiness and fulfillment into my life. The happy times have been blissful, the tough times have been few and far between, and the life before us fills me with joy.

It's called a vagina.

It's 8:30 in the morning and I've already ranted at Liam twice today. One of these rants involved the word vagina. It's not nearly as vulgar or interesting as you may hope.

I frequent a pregnancy forum where a whole bunch of women are due sometime in September 2005. It's fun to discuss things with women who are at the same stage in their pregnancies and I enjoy hearing what other people's experiences are like.

One thing really bugs me though, and that is the fact that so many women seem to have problems calling their vagina a vagina. So many times it's hinted at ("down there", "my girl parts") or re-named ("my no-no hole", "my hoo-hoo"). Then, more often than not, the poster apologizes for bringing up the fact that they have a vagina at all ("sorry, TMI"). It drives me batty.

We are all obviously women who know a little bit about our anatomy. We are all non-virgins and have gone through at least one pelvic exam with a doctor. Some of us have even given birth already, yet there is still this inability to write the word vagina. Come on people, we all have them and we all know we have them. The whole part about being female and having gotten pregnant kind of makes it obvious.

If my kid can tell you that a baby comes out of a woman's vagina, shouldn't an adult be able to say the same thing?

Life goes on

Today is a day of milestones.

1) Nicholas has his first oral freezing. He had two fillings put in this morning and was an absolute champ about it. His Mom, though, was almost in tears. Pregnant women should not witness their children undergoing stressful events.

2) My parents come back from Nova Scotia in...2 hours and 50 minutes. Ish. They've been away for four weeks. They'll be spending Friday through Sunday with Nicholas. I can hear myself snoring already.

3) Nicholas had his last ever day of preschool.

Which brings me to the meat of today's blog. Nicholas is starting kindergarten in two weeks. As much as this is something that all (well, most I guess) kids end up doing, this is a first for both him and me. He's never been a school kid before, and I've never been the mom of a school kid.

Now, Liam tried to downplay this whole thing recently by pointing out that Nicholas has been in various preschool classes for a few years now, but there is a world of difference. Preschool was once or twice a week and I had the option every three months of putting him in another class or keeping him home. Also, the longest class he's ever had was 2 1/2 hours (admittedly not much shorter than the 3-hour kindergarten days).

Our life until now has basically been the two of us hanging out. Sometimes he goes to Grandma's, sometimes I was at work or at school, but the main chunk of our time together was just being home. Yes, I realize that four days a week of 3-hour days is really not a whole lot of time, but the idea that my child is now entering the school system where he'll be staying (hopefully) for the next 13 years is a little bit daunting.

I'm going to be sharing my son with a teacher I've never met before and asking him/her to fill his head with knowledge. That's been my job until now. I can't help but feel a little bit put out.

Another aspect to this whole school thing is realizing that I have a school-aged child. Holy crap. When did that happen? I've just finally gotten my brain wrapped around the fact that I'm old enough to have a kid, nevermind one who's old enough to toddle off to school every day. I've gone from being a single mom who goes to college to being a married woman who's sending her oldest child off to school and waiting for her youngest to make his/her appearance into the world. Another daunting thought.

Here's one just for Dylan

As a follow-up to the Nicholasism with the Transformers...

He's got a little Transformers catalogue/comic book thing that came with one of his toys. He's fascinated by the different names. He caught my attention when he started talking about this one guy, Octopus Crime. Yeah.

Oh, and on the topic of Nicholasisms, we were recently driving by some church when Nicholas was supposed to be asleep in the back seat. I was reading out loud their wacky billboard out front and it had something along the lines of "Have you ever wrestled with God?". A little voice from the back seat piped up "God would win.". I almost peed myself laughing.

It's all about attitude, baby

The other night before going to bed I noticed that Liam had left his bread out on the table (I call it his bread because is the bag of heels that Nicholas and I have snubbed and left in the freezer). As I wrapped it back up and put it back in the freezer, I had an image pop into my head: I'm 75 years old and hobbling around the house putting bread away and picking up dirty socks.

Now, for anyone who doesn't know Liam and his domestic-type habits, here's a little snapshot. After he eats a sandwich, the bread is left out on the counter beside the mustard and the margarine (both with their lids off), every drawer and cupboard that he has used is left open, and his dirty plate is still on the counter. Oh, and Liam is gone, never to be seen again.

Back to the story at hand...I put the bread away and came upstairs to Liam who was in the computer room with this image of myself still picking up after him fresh in my mind. Halfway up the stairs I realized that I could look at all of this in one of two ways: I could get annoyed at his constant absentmindedness and dread this aspect of our shared life for the next however many years to come, or I could just get over it and accept that this is the way he is. I realized that I'm really not all that interested in being a grumpy bitch for the rest of my life. That's what pregnancy and PMS were made for.

I walked into the computer room and told Liam about my experience and I was laughing so hard I more fell on him than hugged him as I meant to. As I explained how I figured I could choose to deal with his foibles or divorce him he sat very still. I think he was trying to figure out which one I was leaning towards.

I think I'll stick with picking up behind him. After all, he gives awesome back rubs and I'll need someone to change all those stinky diapers that are soon coming out way.

Ummm??

There is an alien doing somersaults in my belly. I just thought the world should know.

That is all.